Page 29 of What if It's Us

I shake my head and try to ease her nerves. “The bathroom will be fine.”

“Okay.” She glances around her room and then says, “Do you need the Wi-Fi password?”

“The Wi-Fi password?”

“Yeah. Sometimes the internet can be spotty in this part of town, so if you need the password so you can stream whatever you?—”

“I don’t need the Wi-Fi, Mar,” I tell her. “This will only take a minute.”

I don’t miss her gaze dropping from my eyes to my thighs—or rather in between them. When she glances back up at my face, I place my hand on her shoulder and say, “Last chance to back out. Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Yeah.” She nods. “Yeah, this is what I want.”

“Okay.” I lift my hand from her shoulder to her hair, smoothing it back with my thumb. “I’ll just be a minute.”

“Ledger?”

I turn back from the doorway of the bathroom. “Yeah?”

“In case I forget to say it later, thank you. Thank you for doing this.”

“I’d do anything for you, Marlee.” Maybe that’s saying too much but fuck it. I like her and I know this is hella-unconventional, but the girl of my dreams wants to be a motherand asked me to give her the sperm she needs to make her dreams come true. No fucking way would I ever say no.

CHAPTER SIX

MARLEE

Holy shit.

This is happening.

Like, actually for real happening.

Ledger Dayne is in my bathroom right now and he’s…

He’s getting himself off just for me.

Because I asked him if he would, and he said yes.

I’m minutes away from knocking myself up with Ledger Dayne’s baby.

While Ledger is doing his thing in the bathroom, I slip my panties from underneath my sundress, toss them in my hamper, and then move to my bed. Lifting the at-home insemination kit from my nightstand, I pull out the packaged syringe I’ll be using to collect Ledger’s sperm from the cup he has. With a shaky hand, I unfold the directions from the kit and read through them again quietly so I know exactly what I’m about to do.

“You will want to use the donated sperm as soon as possible after receiving it in order to have the best chance at conception,” I murmur softly as I read through the instructions one step at a time.

“Gather the following supplies including a syringe and included fertility friendly lubricant if needed.” I glance at thementioned tools lying on my nightstand and then continue to read. “Find a comfortable position on a bed or flat surface. Position a pillow under your hips and raise your legs in the air. This will help the sperm easily reach the cervix. Add small plastic applicator to the tip of syringe.”

I tug the syringe out of its plastic wrapping along with the added applicator, pushing it onto the end as instructed. “Place the syringe into the cup and draw the sperm into the tube. Once syringe is full, carefully insert it into your vagina. Inject the sperm slowly, leaving the syringe in place for at least thirty seconds while your legs are in the air. This gives the sperm their best chance at reaching the egg.”

As my stomach flutters with nerves, I lower the instructions to my nightstand, releasing a deep breath.

Christ.

Why does this suddenly feel like a do or die moment?

Can I really do this?

What if I mess it up?

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