Page 44 of What if It's Us

Why did I even open my mouth in the first place?

How forward can I be?

“I’d have to actually have a steady girlfriend to give my clothes to, so I guess that’s a no. You’re the first.” He smiles, patting my leg. “Congratulations.”

“I wondered why pulling on your pants felt a little extra special,” I respond with a wink.

“Sorry, I should’ve asked about the foot rub,” he says softly. “I just assumed cramps and feeling lousy deserved at least this much. Is this okay?”

“Are you kidding?” I smile with arched brows. “It feels amazing. I’ll give you all night to stop.”

He gestures to the television in front of us with the tip of his chin. “So, what are we watching? Are you aNotebookkind of girl or do you prefer something more likeThe Princess Bride?” His eyes narrow. “Or maybe you’re more into romcoms likeThe Proposal.”

“Oooh, I do loveThe Proposal,” I tell him with a little sparkle in my eye.

“Let me guess,” he responds. “You’re a diehard Ryan Reynolds fan?”

“What?” I shake my head. “No. But I am a huge Betty White fan and she is the true star of that movie.”

The smile that grows across Ledger’s face makes my chest warm. This whole evening with him has been beyond anything I ever expected. He indeed purchased one of every candy bar in the drug store, having dumped them out on his coffee table for all our snacking needs. He brought me here to his place so I could try to get my mind off the fact that I’m not pregnant, he bought me dinner from the best Italian restaurant in town, gave me his clothes to change into so we can relax and watch whatever silly rom com my heart desires. And now he’s rubbing my feet?

I don’t know where he learned to take care of others so well, but he makes me want to stay curled up next to him for as longas he’ll have me. When Ledger’s around I feel safe. With Ledger around life feels a little less stressful.

And I’m a little less alone.

“The Proposalit is.”

“No, no, no,”Ledger says, trying not to laugh at me. “You have to do it and ask for your loins to be abundantly fertile just like Betty says.” He hops up from where we were comfortably seated and holds out his arms, performing his best Betty White impression. “Come, dance with me, curious one.”

Sucking my lips inward to keep from laughing, I reluctantly take his outstretched hand and stand with Ledger in front of his ridiculously large television. His hands take my waist and he playfully bounces my body up and down. “Relax your body and feel the rhythm of the drum,” he says, beaming. “Use your vowels. EEEEE-OOOO-EEEE-OOO. Just like Betty says, Mar. Come on. Put your fertility needs out there to the universe.”

Bouncing up and down, I flail my arms just like Sandra Bullock does around the campfire and chant whatever words come to my mind. “To the window, to the window. To the wall, to the wall. I need your great big balls.”

Ledger laughs. “That’s right, girl. Let’s hear it,” he says. “Tell me about my balls.”

I continue on my own, swinging my arms and bouncing to the rhythm. “To the window, to the window. To the wall. To the wall. My donor makes house calls.”

“That’s right!”

“His balls, I’ll drain ’em all.”

“Whaaat?”

“Just jizz it down my hall.”

“That’s hot!”

“Please make me want to crawl.”

“Fuck yeah!”

Smiling and giggling like a couple of lunatics high on laughing gas, both of our arms flailing and our bodies bouncing up and down, Ledger and I dance in the middle of his living room, chanting to the fertility Gods. Honestly, I can’t remember having a more fun time in my entire life. When we finally tire of our chant, Ledger gives me a high five and then we both fall onto the couch catching our breath and calming our laughter.

Without having to turn my head, I can feel Ledger watching me. “Feel better?” he asks.

I nod, wiping tears of laughter from my eyes. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

“Good. Sometimes a bad day just calls for a little crazy.”

---