Page 47 of What if It's Us

He lifts his hand to the back of my head as he leans ever so slowly toward me. My breath catches, not from surprise, but in anticipation of a connection I think I long for when I’m with him. The way he looks at me, like he sees everything about me, like he’d wait forever but hopes he won’t have to, it’s a heady feeling. Like his soul is pushing through my chest and making itself at home as it wraps around my heart.

Why I didn’t recognize the feeling sooner, I don’t know. Maybe I did know and was just too afraid to admit it to myself for fear of rejection, but I see it now. I see all of Ledger’s feelings. He carries them in his eyes. They’re like a storm settling into the earth, lit with something deeper. Like he’s weighing the risk of leaning a little more.

I wouldn’t turn him away.

I wouldn’t say no.

I’m the risk worth taking.

If only I could tell him that.

With a slow, aching patience that only comes when someone wants more than just a fleeting moment, he leans in closer, just enough to feel his warmth. To feel his breath on my lips.

My heart beats loudly in my ears as I close my eyes and wait for the soft brush of his lips against mine with the realization that once he kisses me I know with every fiber of my being I’ll submit to him. I’ll be irrevocably his, because when push comes to shove, even in just a few hours in his presence tonight, he’s made me feel more loved and more cherished than any man ever has.

I part my lips and suck in a silent breath in anticipation but then Ledger’s lips land tenderly on my forehead. His lingering kiss is sweet and comforting albeit disappointing, but then hepulls back and gazes into my eyes and tells me, “I guarantee you you’re body isn’t broken, Marlee. And I promise I’ll put a baby inside you if it’s the last thing I do.”

Okay so the kiss didn’t happen the way I hoped it might. But Ledger Dayne just told me he’ll put a baby inside me if it’s the last thing he does and it was sexy as hell. And now I’ll forever wonder what it would truly be like to be his.

CHAPTER NINE

LEDGER

Harrison

Hey Dayne! High fives for stepping up the other day with Remington. I must admit I was shocked but proud as fuck. How’d that go by the way?

Oliver

Wait…what? What did I miss?

Bodhi

Whoa! Is this like…big news? Did Ledger and Marlee finally get together?

August

WHAAAT? When did this happen? What did you do, Dayne?

August

Ella’s over here dancing her little happy dance for you btw. So, did you two fuck or what? (also, sorry if you can hear her singing bow-chica-wow-wow from your apartment. There’s no stopping her when she’s this excited.)

Bear

Who knew menstruation was Ledger’s kryptonite?

Bodhi

GIF of dog on couch saying WHAT? Come again?

August

Wait…that’s not where I saw this conversation going…

Harrison

LOL @Bear.

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