Page 51 of What if It's Us

“She texted you late at night?” Oliver wags his brows.

Bodhi smirks. “To ask you to give her a baby?”

“Something like that. Yeah.”

“And you said yes just like that?” Bear asks, his eyes narrowed and his head cocked.

Griffin backhands Bear’s bicep. “Of course he did, numb nuts. Ledger’s been in love with Marlee for three years. Where the fuck have you been?”

Bear nods. “Yeah, I realize that, but he just said they’re not a thing and they’re not fucking so how the hell is this allhappening and how are you not going to get a broken heart out of this deal?”

“Aww, lookie there,” Ella says, winking at Bear. “I knew there was a softie in that big body of yours somewhere, Bear. You’re actually concerned for Ledger’s wellbeing.”

“I know, I know.” I groan. “I’m a pathetic sap of a man who is so crazy about a woman, who’s never even looked my way might I add, that I agreed to give her a million little parts of me in hopes that one of them will come through for her since I obviously haven’t gotten my shit together enough for her yet.”

Ella tilts her head, looking at me like a man whose dog just died while Bear gives me a deadpanned expression.

“Nah, I don’t give a fuck about his wellbeing,” he teases in response. “But if he thinks giving his jizz to a woman he has the hots for is going to turn into some blossoming relationship between the two of them when she’s literally just looking for the easiest way to get what she wants, he could be in for a world of hurt.”

Ouch.

“Wow. Tell me how you really feel, Bear.”

He shakes his head. “I’m sorry man. But someone has to say what we’re all thinking.”

“Whoa, wait.” Scarlett stands, shaking her head with a scowl. “That’s not at all what I’m thinking so Bear doesn’t speak for me.”

“Me either,” Corrigan adds with a shrug. “I mean maybe I’m just a strong believer in the idea of love, but if Ledger desires an honest to God relationship with Marlee, I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility.”

“Whoa, wait, wait, wait.” August waves his hands. “Let’s back up a bit here.” He turns to me. “First of all, she asked you to be her sperm donor and you said yes.”

I nod. “Yes.”

“And you talked out all the details and asked all the questions etcetera, etcetera?” Corrigan asks.

I bob my head “Sure.”

August scoffs. “You want to answer that with a little more conviction?”

“Nope.” I shake my head. “No, I do not. That’s all I’ve got right now.”

“But you’re okay being a dad, right?” Bodhi asks. “If you’re donating your junk to her, you’re aware that her child will also be your child, right?”

“Yeah.” August nods. “How do you feel about that?”

I take a deep breath. “Look, I get that this is a lot. It’s a bit wild and if I’m being honest, a bit of a flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants process. Am I aware Marlee would be having my child? Yes. Do I want to be a dad?” I tilt my head back and forth. “I don’t know, but I do know I’d do anything for her and that coupled with the idea of another man fathering her children?” I scoff. “No fucking thank you. I’ll take it from here and do whatever I have to do for her.”

Barrett’s brows raise and I can tell he’s about to open his mouth but I stop him. “And I know that sounds fucking crazy but I’m crazy about Marlee. I have been for years. You know that. But also, I’m a little fucked up where my upbringing is concerned,” I tell them. “So, the idea of being a father scares me a little. I kind of vowed to myself years ago that I would never father children and now here I am wanting to give Marlee the world because she fucking asked for it and I can’t say no to her.”

Griffin tilts his head, studying me. “What about your upbringing is so fucked up? Nick and Rebecca are amazing. Were they not good to you?”

My gaze moves from an understanding Scarlett, because we’re related, to Harrison, the only team member to know about my past, and that’s only because I told him not too long ago.

“Nick and Rebecca were the best thing to ever happen to me. But they didn’t happen to me until I was in eighth grade.”

Griffin’s jaw drops. “Dude, you’re adopted?”

“Mhmm.” I nod. “I was that foster kid being tossed around from foster family to foster family for all of my elementary and middle school years. It wasn’t great, I’ll tell you that. But once I met Nick and Rebecca…” I glance at Scarlett, noticing her glistening eyes. “They changed my life. Nick is the one who introduced me to hockey. He gave me an outlet for my energy. My anger. He helped me focus on something bigger than myself. I owe them the world. They officially adopted me before I turned eighteen and for the first time in a very long time I felt like I was part of something. An actual family.”

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