Page 52 of What if It's Us

“No way,” August mumbles, dumbfounded. “How did we never know this about you, Ledge?”

I shrug my shoulder. “Because it never needed to come up, I guess. Nick and Rebecca are my family. I sort of allowed myself to forget about my biological parents because there was nothing good there.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, man,” Oliver says. “But is that why you think you wouldn’t be a good dad? Because your real parents weren’t good people?”

I nod slowly. “My dad…wasn’t a good person. And if I have some of those same traits, it would kill me to pass them on to a kid, you know?”

Harrison frowns and shakes his head. “No way, man. That isn’t going to happen.” I give him a questioning glance, but he continues. “And I can say that with absolute certainty because I’ve seen you work with kids at Pucks & Blades. You’re great with them. You never lose your temper. You’re an encourager and a helper through and through. I mean, will you hit bumps along the road when it comes to being a parent? Sure. I imagine all parents do, but that’s normal. As far you as thinking you’re goingto become some raging monster of a man?” He shakes his head again. “Not happening. You can breathe easy there, Ledge.”

A raging monster of a man…

My dad killed my mom.

So yeah…that’s exactly what I fear.

“I know I can speak for my parents when I say we are thrilled you found our family, Ledger,” Scarlett says to me. “You were the perfect fit for Uncle Nick and Aunt Becca.” She takes my hand in hers and gives it a squeeze. “We love you so much.”

“Thanks, Scarlett. You know I love you and Uncle Dale and Aunt Trish as well. You’re literally the best family I could’ve ever found.” I swing my gaze around the room. “And same goes for all of you. I know we don’t always say it, but you guys are brothers to me and I always appreciate that you’re around when I need you.”

There’s a comfortable silence that settles between us followed by the most awkward pause in conversation. Finally, Oliver comes to our aid.

“Not to pull us away from our mushy feelings but back to Marlee. Since this first cycle didn’t work out, that clearly means you did the thing once already.” He motions with his pointer finger, pushing it into the hole of his fist.

“Yes. Though it wasn’t what you would necessarily think.”

“Did you have to jizz in a cup?” Harrison asks.

“Yeah. But she had this at-home insemination kit, so it was more like put it in a cup and then pull it out with a syringe type thing and insert it.”

Harrison’s brows lift. “Oh, you had to do all that?”

Griffin sits back against the couch with his arms folded against his chest. “Tell them what you bought her, bro.”

Oh, for Christ’s sake.

“To answer your question, Harrison, I didn’t have to do all that, but Marlee got nervous so I offered. So yes, I did all that for her.”

“Holy shit, bro!” Oliver exclaims. “You saw her?—”

“Yep,” I answer with a nod before he has the chance to finish his sentence.

Oliver shakes his head. “Dude…”

Scarlett nudges her husband. “Don’t even ask him what it looked like Oli. It was a pussy. You’ve seen mine a thousand times and if you’ve seen one you’ve seen eMPH!—”

Oliver slaps his hand over his wife’s mouth. “Babe, I love you more than life itself but if you think one pussy is just like another, you would be dead fucking wrong.”

Ella’s brows pinch together and she lets out a snort. “Come on guys, really? I mean there’s no way they’re that different.”

Getting up from the couch to grab another beer, Griffin lays a hand on Ella’s shoulder and with a smirk on his face tells her, “Trust me babe. I’ve seen a lot of them and they absolutely do not all look the same.” He leans in and whispers, “I’m sure yours is beautiful though. Don’t worry.”

August gives him a warning glare. “Hey.”

Griffin laughs, raising his hands in a defensive pose. “I’m just saying!”

“Anyway,” I say, clearing my throat to bring the attention back to our conversation. “Yes I’ve seen all the things and yes I helped Marlee that night and yes, I bought her a vibrator because I read that having an orgasm helps in getting her body to relax so the sperm have a fighting chance. And before you ask, yes…I…”

Fuck, I’m going to catch so much shit for this.

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