Page 81 of What if It's Us

I saw that commercial. That dog had a BACKSTORY. I tear up every time.

Marlee

Don’t validate me, Ledger. I need boundaries here!

Me

You also need to stop googling things like “can mood swings start 4 seconds after conception” but that’s just my opinion.

Marlee

LOL. It’s called research, Ledger!!

Me

No. It’s called giving yourself an honorary internet doctorate and then diagnosing yourself with twins and a ghost baby all of which are dying of cancer because everyone who deep dives into the internet is dying of cancer. How they don’t just put that shit on page one is beyond me. Would save us all a lot of time.

Marlee

Okay fair.

Me

Do I need to stage an intervention? Bring you decaf tea and confiscate your phone?

Marlee

Too late. I already googled “Does caffeine affect implantation”

Me

Lord help me woman. You are out of control.

Marlee

You signed up for this! You’re helping to make this baby. You’re responsible for my brain now.

Me

Good. Glad you see it my way. Now listen to me. Step away from the internet. Maybe you need to come over for dinner. I’ll make pasta and I’ll turn off the wi-fi.

Marlee

My phone is its own hotspot Ledger! That’s not helping! Pasta though…temping. I could eat. Do you have snacks?

Me

Do I have snacks? Mar, I am the snack.

Marlee

God in heaven be careful what you offer. Pregnant women have quite the appetite.

Me

Meh, that’s just the hormones talking.

Marlee

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