Page 85 of What if It's Us

Is cheese bad for you if you’re trying to get pregnant?

Ledger

…like morally or…?

Me

Are you mocking me?

Ledger

I would never.

Me

Because I just ate brie and then I googled soft-cheese-and-fertility-and now I may or may not be spiraling!

Ledger

Deep breath babe. Last I checked, eating cheese is not a crime nor a death sentence.

Me

But is it a WOMB SABOTAGING CRIME?

Ledger

You ate cheese, Mar. You didn’t swallow laundry detergent or chain smoke like your life depends on it.

Me

But this one forum says soft cheese = bacteria = toxic uterus = barren wasteland!

Ledger

Uh…that escalated quickly.

Me

I just wanted a yummy snack, Ledge! I was in the mood for cheese and I knew I had brie and some crackers and now I feel like I might have ruined our chances.

Ledger

Please. Tell me again that I’ll get another chance to fuck you into oblivion.

Me

Okay, while that made me smile, I feel you’re missing the point here.

Ledger

I don’t think one charcuterie board is going to ruin your dreams of conceiving. Unless this baby has a personal vendetta against cheese…or dairy in general.

Me

Oh God, I must be craving pretty badly because I just read vendetta as Velveeta. Also, if our baby ends up hating cheese I will need a lengthy moment of silence to mourn my happiness.

Ledger

---