Page 91 of What if It's Us

“Holy shit!” I shout with the widest smile my face can create.

Warmth radiates through my chest and there’s a sudden lightness to every one of my limbs. It’s like that moment when I score a goal in overtime and I drop my stick and slide across the ice in celebration with my brothers.

Only this time, I’m weightless and beaming, skating right into Marlee’s arms.

It worked!

It really fucking worked?

“You’re serious?! You’re pregnant?!”

She nods again, laughing through her beautiful happy tears. “I took several tests. They were all screaming yes so…” She shrugs her shoulder. “I guess I’m pregnant.”

The team whoops behind us and I glance up to find Scarlett, Layken, Ella, and Corrigan cheering with the guys, knowing smiles and happy tears on their faces as well.

I press my hand to Marlee’s belly, still stunned. “There’s…there’s a baby in there? Your baby?”

She folds her hand over mine and murmurs, “Your baby, Ledger. I’m carrying your baby.”

My baby.

Marlee Remington is having my baby.

She sniffles and then adds, “You did it.”

“We did it, Mar.” I cup her face and kiss her forehead. “You’re going to be a mom just like you’ve always wanted.”

She nods. “And you’re going to be a daddy.”

For a fleeting moment her words knock the breath right out of my chest.

I’m going to be a dad.

She’s having my child.

What if I’m not good at this?

And then, like she’s reading my mind, she fists my t-shirt and pulls me close, kissing my lips and helping me push all my anxieties out of the way so I can be present for her. “And you’re going to be amazing.”

The crowd roarsas I skate down the ice, stick low, eyes tracking the puck. I started this game fired up and ready to go, knowing if nothing else, adrenaline would help drown out everything else.

But it hasn’t.

Everywhere I look on this ice, I see Marlee standing in my hoodie telling me she’s carrying my baby. And everywhere I look I see her being slammed against the boards or being pulled down the ice.

What if I can’t keep her safe?

What if I mess this baby up?

What if I yell too much?

What if I’m not patient enough?

What if they get scared of me?

What if I can’t be what Marlee needs?

What if I don’t know how to love this baby right?

---