Page 95 of What if It's Us

And he’s over here dreaming about triplets?

Fuck me!

There’s a soft knock on the door before the ultrasound tech walks in, a cheerful smile on her face and wearing scrubs covered in tiny rubber ducks.

And now my heart feels like it’s beating out of my chest.

“Hi guys! I’m Wendy. I’ll be doing your ultrasound today. Are you ready to see your little nugget?”

“Does it look like a nugget or a peanut?” Ledger asks. “Because I’ve heard both and the internet says a raisin.” He shrugs. “I guess the internet goes by fruits. I don’t know. I’m just…you know, looking for a visual.”

Aww.

He talks a lot when he’s nervous.

It’s cute.

“Definitely peanut stage,” she confirms. “Nugget’s a few weeks away.”

“Okay.” Ledger nods, no doubt committing the visual of a peanut to memory. “Got it. Thanks.”

“This is your first ultrasound, right?”

I nod. “Yes.”

Wendy reads over my file. “Okay and based on your last period you’re thinking you should be at about eight weeks or so?”

“I think so, yeah.”

“Perfect.” She smiles, and I instantly feel calmer. “Well let’s see what we can see today, shall we? We’re going to try an external ultrasound first and if we can’t see much, we’ll go with an internal, okay?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m going to have you lay back and lift your shirt to your bra line. And then if you can shimmy the waistline of your pants down to just above your pelvic bone, that would be helpful.”

Once I give her the area she needs, Wendy squirts a cold gel on my belly and I try my best not to flinch.

Because shit, it’s cold!

Ledger flinches just watching me, which makes me laugh.

Then the screen to the right of my head flickers to life and we both instinctively turn our heads toward it, watching. Waiting. It’s grainy at first. Just a bunch of grayish shadows I can’t even begin to comprehend, but then Wendy adjusts the wand slightly, and there, in the middle of the screen is what looks like a peanut—Wendy was right—nestled within this big black space.

Wow.

“There’s little peanut,” Wendy says as she clicks her computer mouse and then pecks at a few keys on the keyboard in front of her.

Oh, my God.

Wendy zooms in on the peanut shaped blob so much that we can see a little flicker on the screen. Like the softest drumbeat in the center of something impossibly tiny. “And this little flutter right here, is your baby’s heartbeat.”

I swear to God time stops.

Ledger stares and I stop breathing. Something in my chest expands…like my heart is trying to make room for someone else now.

“That little flutter thing?” Ledger whispers, his voice breaking. He clears his throat and tries again. “That little flutter is…a heartbeat?”

Wendy nods, smiling. “Yep. Beating strong too.”

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