Page 20 of We Could Be Better

“Cash”

“What do you want?” she asked.

I had to admit Bella was a real pretty female; it’s just crazy how bad her attitude was and I don’t a real nigga that like mess and drama. If she calm down maybe a nigga might wifeher, but with the way she was going I truly doubt that would happen any time soon. All of her friends were messy so I guess she couldn’t be any other way. Any friend that let you make a fool of yourself in front a crowd of people wasn’t a real friend and that’s just how I felt about her friends. She opened the door for me to come in and just like she use to, she wasted no time getting to business.

“You must miss this pussy daddy. That lil girl wasn’t doing what it took to satisfy you huh?”

This the shit that turned me off from a lot of bitches. If I’m here fucking you then your main concern shouldn’t be another female, it should be getting this dick. Kyra just didn’t know she had a lot of these hoes intimidated and I just didn’t understand why. I didn’t even have my mom name tatted on me and here she was with her name big and bold going straight across my back. She just didn’t get it though; she was so stuck the past she couldn’t even see that I was really trying to love her.

At this point in life I wasn’t too sure if I wanted to be with her anymore. Keeping my child hidden from me for all these years were far worse than what any enemy has ever done to me. I missed damn near 8 years of her life because her mom decided she wanted to be selfish. I pushed Bella back and left her house. She had the potential to be somebody girl, but I couldn’t give her what she wanted if my heart was with another woman.

I rode around all night without anywhere to go here it was 6 in the morning and I was sitting in my brother driveway. I knew I would be able to talk to him about anything, but I was a man not the little boy that would always run to big brother for help. All that went out the window once I found out about Paisley; I tried to think about something different to get my mind off the betrayal I was feeling towards her mother. “Fuck”I said to myself as I continued punching the steering wheel throwing a tantrum like a kid.

“You good baby boy?” Keem asked as he got in the car

“How did you know I was here?”

“I knew you would eventually come; I waited all night for you.”

I just broke down crying look I’m far from a bitch I can tell you that, but having a little girl is so different. From the moment I laid eyes on her I knew she was mine and at that very moment I fell in love with her. Those long jet black plaits and those eyes she reminded me so much of my mother. The last time I cried this hard we were putting out dad in the ground; I hadn’t been sad since that day. But being a father myself and missing so much of my child life took me to a dark place and had me feeling like a buster.

“Look at me Cash; I know how much you probably hate the fact that she hid Pai. But yall were young and you were deep it the streets at that time trying to make a name for yourself. Maybe it was best that she did keep her away and out of harm’s way.”

“She didn’t keep her out of harm’s way though, if she did that would be different. She just kept her away from me for her own selfish reasons.”

“Man you can’t think like that! Just go in there and get your daughter she’s an awesome child she remind me so much of you.” He was right I didn’t have time to dwell on Kyra ass. I needed to spend some time with my daughter.

“Man pack yall shit we going to Disney World be ready for 10. I need a nap before we get on that road.”

We dapped each other up and I sent Kyra a text letting her know I’ll be there for 9:30 and to pack her and Paisley enough clothes for the week. I was about to enjoy this little vacation I just hope Kyra don’t make me curse her ass out. I was still mad at her but Paisley needed to know both parents and I would have felt right just going without bringing her.

Chapter Nineteen

kyra

We been on this trip for three days now and Cash had yet to look my way or talk to me. I didn’t even stay in the room with him and Pai, because when we made it he felt it was best that I got a room with Nik and Mina. I didn’t bother to argue I told him that I would just come every morning to get her dressed. I don’t even know why I came on this trip. I thought maybe it would make us closer but I thought wrong. Even at the parks he would grab Paisley hand and go on different rides with her; I found myself sitting in the public bathroom crying because of all the neglect.

After this craziness how could I sit here and tell him I was pregnant and the whole time we been here he been ignoring me. He loved to call somebody childish but that’s exactly what he was being, if anything we should sit down and talk about everything that was going on with us and how to make shit better but I guess he just felt different about me. I felt so stupid I hid one baby from him and now I was pregnant with another child for him. I was going to tell him soon though.

“I wanna wear those shoes mom.”

I was in the room dressing Paisley so we can get ready for fun day at Magic Kingdom. I don’t care how old you are you can never be too old for Disney World. I was so glad she called me mom, but she told me how my aunt always let her know that I was her mother. I just don’t think I can think my aunt enough for everything she had done for me.

“Ok baby let…”

I couldn’t even get the rest out because before I knew it vomit was rising up in my throat. My morning sickness was horrible and my head would often hurt, but I managed to put on my big girl panties and act like everything was ok. I tried to hurry up and play everything off but for some reason this morning I just couldn’t stop throwing up.

“Yo, Ky you ok?”

Everybody called me Ky but for reason every time he said it, it would make me damn near wet my panties up. Just so much base in his voice and authority whenever he entered the room; he had everyone attention just by walking in. I tried to hurry up and clean myself up before he found out; I wanted to let him know but not up here. Once we got back home I would tell him everything I had to say.

“Yeah im good” soon as I finished more vomit came up

“Man im about to call a nurse”

“You don’t have to Cash. She can’t tell me something I already know.”

“The fuck you talking about”

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