Page 27 of Bitter Falls

“You’re not goin’?” Vee seems disappointed. Disappointed inme. “I thought you’d be happy to get out from under and have some fun.”

Vee’s definition of fun and mine are probably not the same things, I think. But still, I’m intrigued. “Who’s supposed to be there?”

“Everybody from town who’s our age. Norton’s the town close to here, right?”

I nod. I wonder if she’s been there yet. Then I wonder why she’s here at all. I hope it’s to see me, but honestly: I’m not sure. But what if it’s just that simple? That Vee has a thing for me?

I don’t know how I feel about it. Flattered, I guess? Definitely interested. But there’s something weird and out of control about this.Am I in trouble here?I don’t know. But now I’m kind of trapped. I let Vee in. It’s my fault she’s here. I could have told Mom at any time, and I didn’t.

I could go tell Mom now, but then I’d have to explain how Vee got in, and Vee would probably say she was here before tonight, and...I don’t want that discussion. And...and I don’t want Vee to be disappointed in me.

It’s easier just to say, “Uh, okay. We can go, I guess. For a little while. It’s not very far, just around the lake. But I’m not going to get drunk or whatever.”

She’s already nodding, and her shaggy, dark hair flops down over her bright eyes. There’s color in her cheeks, and I get a flash of teeth as she smiles. “Too scared of your momma?” She keeps it to a careful, low whisper.

“Damn right I am,” I whisper back. “What time is the party?”

“Right about now,” Vee says, and points out the window. I ease up and take a look. I can just see the end of the lake where Killing Rock juts out over the water, and sure enough, there’s a flicker of a bonfire down by the shore. And I can hear music drifting over the water.

I know it’s a bad idea, but even if some of the bullies are there, I can deal with that. Unlike school, I can leave whenever I want, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll have a little fun for a change.

Yeah, I’m making all the excuses to myself. I know I shouldn’t go. But...I never do what I want to do. I’ve beenso good. And maybe being a little bad, especially if we’re going to leave this stupid town anyway...maybe that’s okay. Just once.

We use stuffed animals and pillows under the covers to make it look like I’m there. It’s pretty convincing. Vee finds some dramatic glittery purple eye shadow and demands I let her do my makeup. I sit down, and she kneels in front of me. It feels weird and intimate, and I close my eyes and try not to jump at the featherlight touch of the brush across my lids. Then her fingers, blending it with expert little sweeps. “Hold still,” she tells me, and I hear her cracking open another shadow container. “I’m good at smoky eyes. You just hang on there. Trust me.”

It isn’t that I do trust her, exactly, but there’s something about feeling taken care of that’s so...easy. I sit and let her do my makeup, and I’m secretly enjoying the way she’s touching me, the warmth of her pressing in between my thighs. It’s not sexual, but it’s sexy, and I have to swallow nervously. “Almost there?” I ask.

“One sec...” Another long, deliberate pull of her thumbs across my eyelids. “Perfect.”

I open my eyes and she’s right there, bending over and staring into my eyes. For a heart-stopping few seconds I think she’s going to kiss me, but then she winks and puts a hand mirror between us.

I lookgood. I mean, wow. She’s amazing.

We get dressed; I keep my back to her while I change, but I wonder if she sneaks looks. My skin tingles, and I feel awkward and off balance and nearly fall over trying to pull on my distressed black jeans. When I finally turn around, Vee’s leaning against the wall openly staring. Her arms are crossed. It’s a little disorienting to see my clothes on her, like looking at a funhouse mirror. But great too. Like we’re sharing something secret. I feel breathless at that. I’ve wanted to feel part of something outside my family forso long, and for a while I had Dahlia, but...that’s over, and I’ve been so alone.

Vee makes me feel seen. Present. Wanted. Even cool for a change. And I need that so much.

She grabs my hand as she ducks through the open window and outside, and pulls me along with her. Not that I’m resisting, really.

Vee Crockett is maybe the most interesting girl I’ve met,ever. She’s dangerous and wild and sleek and unpredictable, and she makes me feel like I don’t know what’s going to happen from one second to the next. Growing up like I did, where there were no good surprises...it feels like being on the best amusement park ride in the world.

But I also know our speeding roller coaster car could fly off the rails anytime, and part of my brain is nagging me as we head down to the road. We can see the bonfire clearly, and hear the shouts and laughter and pulsing music.

“Come on, let’s get there before the cops bust the party!” Vee calls, and breaks into a run. I catch and pass her easily. This, I’m good at. I don’t even break a sweat, and in fact I have to slow down to let her catch up. She’s laughing and wheezing a little by the time we get there.

The area under the cliff—Killing Rock—is mostly imported sand, a pretend beach in the middle of Tennessee. The night air’s crisp and cold, but that isn’t stopping anybody from swimming in the lake or cannonballing off the top of the cliff. It’s notthatbad; it hasn’t even been below freezing. Fall in Tennessee can sometimes be summer with more leaf colors, and winter can be fall with more Christmas decorations. No sign of any change tonight. The skies are a little cloudy, but the wispy kind of clouds that look decorative instead of threatening.

There are maybe a hundred teens around Norton, Tennessee, and about eighty of them are here right now on this end of the lake. The rest are probably on their way.

“Well, this looks just perfect,” Vee says, and turns a wide smile on a boy who stumbles by. He’s already blind drunk, but she doesn’t seem to mind; she looks him over twice. I feel a little twinge of...something. I don’t want to think it’s jealousy. I tell myself that Vee’s not into me anyway, that I was just imagining things back in Wolfhunter when it seemed like she really liked me.Oh yeah, then why is she here, if she isn’t here for you?

Okay. Maybe I’m jealous, after all.

I pause just in time to see one of my kinda-girlcrushes Lottie come cannonballing off the top of the rock, knees hugged tight to her chest, and she hits the lake with a tremendous splash that’s greeted with cheers from camp chairs near the dock. Dozens of teens are gathered around the bonfire, which spills red and gold light onto rippling water. I see Vee walk away out of the corner of my eye, but I wait for Lottie to surface. She does, waving, and gets another round of cheers as she strokes for the shore. Lottie’s gorgeous. She’s a redhead with big green eyes and an upturned nose and a Tennessee accent so slow it drips like honey. Yeah, I might have kind of a thing for her. Lottie barely knows I’m alive, though. At least she hasn’t actively hated me. So I can still crush on her a little.

Killing Rock probably isn’t the real name of the big cliff that juts out over the lake; it has some boring-ass official title like Lookout Point or Sunset View or something. But it’s been called Killing Rock among the students in Norton for as far back as anyone can remember; even the teachers call it that. Nobody can ever saywhoexactly got killed here, though. There’s some vague legend of a Native American princess committing suicide by jumping off it onto rocks, the stupid bullshit that white people say to make themselves all romantic about the original residents they killed off in the first place. I don’t buy the myth. But the name has to come from somewhere.

When I look around for Vee, I don’t see her. She’s vanished into the crowd. I frown and search a little, but I finally figure she’ll come back when she’s ready.Yeah, maybe she found that drunk guy and is making out with him right now.I don’t like to think about that. I’m not sure if Vee is gay, or bi, or poly, or what; she hasn’t exactly said anything to lead me one way or another. But I do know one thing, deep down: she’s bad for me. I first met her when she was injail, and yeah, maybe she didn’t kill her mom, but she’d done plenty of bad stuff by that point. She had a drug problem. Drinking too. And she was willing to do a lot of sketchy things to get what she wanted.

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