Page 54 of Trapper Road

Even so, that doesn’t mean I need to support his recent behavior. “I just think with everything else going on—”

His expression turns stormy. “You mean Kevin. You can say his name, you know. You don’t have to tiptoe around as if I’ve somehow forgotten why we left town.”

It’s the first time he’s brought up Kevin and the shooting. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He snorts. “No. What I’d like is to get out of here.” He stalks to the door. “I’m going for a walk.”

“You know you can’t do that, Connor. We’re in a strange town, and it’s too dangerous to wander around on your own.”

He spins and throws up his hands. “Then what do you expect me to do all afternoon, huh?”

Vee appears in the connecting doorway making it clear she’s been listening to the entire conversation. “I’ll go with him, Ms. P. Will that make you feel better?”

I’m not sure that it does. Vee isn’t exactly a paragon of responsibility. But Connor’s right, it isn’t fair to keep him trapped in a motel room 24/7. I think about what Sam said after the shooting, about giving Connor time and space to figure out things for himself before pushing him to open up about it. I’m still not sure if that’s the right course of action, but I don’t think trying to force Connor to talk about things right now will get me anywhere.

So I relent. “Keep your phones on you, both of you.”

Connor’s already out the door and doesn’t acknowledge me. Vee pauses. “I’ll keep an eye on him, Ms. P. I promise.” She says it sincerely.

I nod my thanks.

I stand in the doorway, watching Connor and Vee stroll across the parking lot toward the main road. Already I’m second guessing letting them go alone and considering going after them. It’s a constant battle, one that never gets easier — the tension between wanting to keep my kids cocooned in bubble wrap and giving them the freedom they need to grow and thrive.

That has been one of the most enduring legacies of what happened in Salah Point. I came so close to dying — too close. If Kez hadn’t risked her life to warn me that the madman Jonathan Bruce Watson was about to electrocute the metal staircase I was climbing, I would have fried to death. And if I’d been able to climb any higher before I’d been forced to jump, I wouldn’t have survived the fall.

A few more stairs, a few seconds’ hesitation, and I’d be dead. I’d no longer be around to protect my kids.

Sam is their adoptive father, and I know he loves them as his own — he would die for them. I know they are as safe with him as they are with me.

But I still feel a deep, fluttering panic whenever I think about not being there for them.

My therapist has pushed me to face this terror, to confront how close I came to dying and what that would mean for my children, but every time we get close to talking about it, I shut down. I just can’t.

It’s easier to escape into work, deal with other people’s problems instead of my own. Speaking of… I go back to Connor’s computer and copy down the dating profile information and send it back to my office. Thankfully J.B. has several tech geniuses working for her, and it isn’t long before one of them pings me back with an IP address attached to Beau’s account and the physical address tied to that IP address.

I text back my thanks and then copy and paste the address into my maps app. It’s in the middle of nowhere and that’s saying something given that Gardenia isn’t necessarily a bustling metropolis. I switch to satellite view and zoom in. The structure’s small and rectangular, looks to be a trailer or something similar, and sits at the end of a long gravel driveway. The closest neighbor is at least half a mile away.

I switch apps to the one that tracks the family’s cell phone locations. Lanny’s icon shows her on the Reyne campus, and I smile when I notice that Sam’s icon is at a coffee shop only a few blocks away. Still keeping an eye on her, it seems. Connor and Vee’s icons are close to downtown Gardenia.

I text them both, “I have to go check on something and will be gone for a couple of hours. You two doing okay?”

Connor responds, “Haven’t gotten kidnapped, mugged, or mutilated yet but afternoon’s just getting started.”

Vee quickly follows with, “We’re fine, Ms. P. We found a coffee shop and decided to hang here for a while. We’ll call if anything comes up.”

It’s strange seeing Vee acting like a responsible adult, but stranger things have happened. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Vee, it’s that nothing should surprise me.

15

VEE

Connor owes me for keeping quiet about his little date with Willa this morning, so I figure it’s only fair that I make him cover for me while I go to Juliette’s this afternoon. Him storming out on Ms. P earlier provided the perfect excuse, and it takes very little convincing before he agrees to hang out at the coffee shop all afternoon while I go have a little fun.

“You know Mom actually checks your cell phone location on her app, right? So you either have to leave your phone with me, or she’s going to totally bust you.”

I roll my eyes. “You’ve never gotten into much trouble in your life, have you?”

Twin spots of pink appear on his cheeks. “I’ve been in trouble,” he mumbles. “I just try not to. Mom kinda freaks out over things like that. You really don’t want to see her when she’s mad.”