Page 98 of Trapper Road

“Why?” I ask again before I can think better of it.

She laughs, thinking I’m joking. When she realizes I’m not, a frown furrows her forehead. “Because you’re different. Because you look at me like you find me utterly fascinating, and I like how that makes me feel. And because I think you need someone. Specifically, someone like me.”

My cheeks are blazing red at this point. There have been girls that I’ve liked in the past, but no one like Willa. No one I’ve felt such an instant connection to. No one who seems to have felt that same connection in return.

“Also,” she adds, “Because I trust you.” She tilts her head to the side slightly, golden hair spilling across her shoulders and down her arms. “Don’t you trust me?”

My first thought is that I barely know her. Of course I don’t trust her.

But my second thought is, yeah, I do. Maybe that’s just because I want to believe in the possibility of us together, but I don’t care.

That still doesn’t answer my question, though. “That doesn’t explain why you want all my secrets. If you’re planning to blackmail me, good luck with that. We’re pretty much broke, you should work on developing another target.”

She doesn’t laugh. Instead, she scooches forward until our knees touch. “I want to know you.” She places a hand on my chest. “The real you. Everything. Besides, don’t you have secrets that you’ve kept so tight inside that you feel like you might die from them? Like someday they might explode and drown you?”

There’s something urgent to her voice, borderline desperate. I realize, then, that she’s speaking from experience. “Do you?” I ask softly.

The question takes her aback, as if she wasn’t expecting me to turn the tables. She chews her lips, thinking. I can see her weighing what to share and how much. Since she’s already confided in me so easily before, I wonder what kind secret could have her so hesitant.

“I think…” She hesitates, second guessing. Finally she blows out a breath. “I used to think that Mandy might have had something to do with Juliette’s death.”

Her confession surprises me. My eyes go wide. “Really? Why? How?”

She lifts a shoulder. “I don’t know. She’s just been acting so weird since Juliette disappeared. I was really starting to think she’d done something when Trevor came forward and confessed. Even now I can’t help wonder if she was still involved somehow. I know it doesn’t make sense but…” She looks up, meeting my eyes. “Sometimes she scares me.”

I think about the day before, when Mandy and Willa brought Vee back to the coffee shop after spending the afternoon at Juliette’s house. We didn’t have much time before Mom would be there to pick us up, and I knew she would be furious if she saw us together, but even so we’d risked it. We’d all ordered a drink and sat in the back corner, hanging out for a few minutes before Mandy and Willa took off again.

I remember thinking at the time how normal it all felt. That this must be what it’s like to be a regular teen with friends and girlfriends and the freedom to just hang out together. I hadn’t picked up on any tension between Willa and Mandy. Vee hadn’t mentioned anything about it either.

The only other time I’d seen them together was at the party in the woods last night. I hadn’t been paying attention to the way they acted around each other, but now I wonder if I noticed Willa keeping her distance but just hadn’t realized it.

“But you’re best friends,” I point out.

My comment seems to sting her, as if I’m doubting what she’s just told me. She arches an eyebrow. “Didn’t you say that Kevin was your best friend?”

Her response is sharply pointed, but accurate. “Fair point,” I tell her. “I’m sorry.”

“It just means you understand,” she says. “You know what it’s like to have a friend who scares you.”

I’m not sure Kevin ever really scared me, but I don’t press the point.

Willa continues, “I know I should cut ties with her, but that’s impossible in a town as small as ours. I’m worried that if I don’t do as she wants, if I don’t keep pretending to be her best friend, she’ll get mad and do something to me as well.” She blinks, tears collecting along her lower lashes. “She’s dangerous, Connor.”

I think about reminding her that Trevor was the one to hurt Juliette, not Mandy, but I’m afraid it will sound like I’m making light of her fears. That’s the last thing I want to do. Willa told me I made her feel safe — that she trusted and believed in me.

If she says that she’s afraid of Mandy, then I believe her. And I will do anything I can to protect her.

29

GWEN

Josiah Parker lives in the middle of the state, in an area called the pine barrens for good reason because there are a lot of pine forests and little else.

It takes over an hour to reach the tiny town he lives in, if it can even be called a proper town, and another fifteen minutes to reach his property. I spend much of the drive cursing rural roads and the ridiculous amount of time I’ve spent on them during this case. How does anyone around here get anything done with so much driving to do? Not that I haven’t spent a fair amount of time living in towns more rural than this. You’d think I’d be used to it, and in reality I know that my frustration with the drive is little more than a mask for my anxiety.

If I’m going to spend hours in the car, I want it to be on the highway headed home. I want to get back to Stillhouse Lake and figure out what the hell is going on with our house. I want to hug Lanny and make sure she’s okay. I want to sink into Sam’s arms and let him carry the weight of my fears for just a few moments so I can breathe.

Instead, I’m in the pine barrens, searching for a man who doesn’t want to be found and likely won’t be interested in talking, which would make this entire trip a bust.

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