Page 113 of Darkwater Lane

“I’m sorry, Maddie,” I whisper in her ear. It’s true. I’m sorry for the role I unwittingly played in bringing her to this moment. I’m sorry she saw something in me that wasn’t there. I’m sorry for her loneliness and desperation.

Slowly, the fight leaves her. Her limbs go still. Her fingers twitch, grasping at something she’ll never reach. “It’s okay,” I tell her. I realize that I’m crying too.

Her hand finds mine in the water. Her fingers wrap around my own. She reminds me of an infant grasping on to comfort out of blind instinct. And I’m just so, so sad for her. I’m sad for the lives she’s taken and for her own wasted life.

When she’s gone, I hold her a moment longer, but the water is frigid, and I’m still fully dressed, which makes it difficult to stay afloat. I’m holding on to the side of the boat, but my fingers are numb, and my grip falters.

My teeth chatter, my entire body shuddering against the cold. Everything around me is darkness, the sky bleeding into the water so that one becomes the other.

“Sam!” I cry out, trying to kick at the water so I can get high enough to look over the lip of the boat. I catch a glimpse of him. He’s rolled onto his side, one hand raised to his head. My heart leaps in my chest. He’s waking up, thank God.

A blue and red strobe flickers against the night, growing stronger as the police boat nears.

“Here!” I call. My voice comes out weak and raspy, easily swallowed by the roar of the police boat’s powerful engine. It throttles down as it approaches, turning at the last minute so that it pulls up alongside us. Waves from the wake set us in motion, ripping the lip of the gunwale from my fingers.

Suddenly, I’m going under. The frigid water claws at me, the dark depths of the lake trying to lay claim. Madison is dead weight, dragging me down as I fight to stay afloat. But my limbs are heavy and slow, and I slip below the surface.

30

GWEN

Everything after that becomes a hypothermic blur: the police boat arriving, Detective Diakos shouting orders as hands pull me and Madison from the water. Paramedics strapping Sam to a backboard, shining a flashlight in his eyes and exchanging worried glances. Officers crouching over Madison’s limp body in the bow.

When we make it to shore, I refuse to leave Sam’s side. I hold his hand in the ambulance, worried by the paramedics’ silence. At the ER, I try to follow Sam in, but a nurse stops me at the door.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, you can’t go in there,” she tells me.

I open my mouth to protest, and she says, “Do you want me spending my time here, arguing with you? Or in there, helping that man?” She points toward the sliding doors where they just took Sam.

She has a point. I nod. “His name is Sam,” I manage to tell her, my voice cracking.

“I’ll let you know when we have an update on Sam. For now, you need to take care of yourself.”

Only then do I notice the water still dripping from my clothes, creating a puddle on the hospital floor. I clutch the Mylar blanketaround my shoulders, but it does little to warm me. My teeth are still chattering, and my entire body shudders.

“Thank you,” I tell her. She nods and turns to go where they took Sam.

“Why don’t you come with me?” Another nurse places her arm around my shoulders, guiding me toward a curtained triage area. “Let’s get you checked out and warmed up.”

“I need to call my kids,” I say, straining to keep my teeth from chattering. I reach for my phone, only to find it’s not in my pocket. I curse under my breath. It must have fallen out when I jumped into the water after Madison, meaning it’s long gone.

“Is there a phone I can use?” I ask the nurse.

She gestures to an empty triage room. “In here,” she tells me. “I’ll get you something to change into and some warm blankets.”

It takes concerted effort to dial Lanny’s number with how badly my hands shake. As it rings, I press my lips together and concentrate on trying to sound normal. Lanny doesn’t answer, and I realize that…of course, she wouldn’t. I’m calling from an unknown number. So, I call back again, let it ring twice, hang up, and then call back. It’s our prearranged signal.

Lanny answers immediately. “Hello?” I wince at the fear in her voice.

“It’s me,” I tell her. “Everything’s okay.”

She swallows back what sounds like a sob, then lets out a tremulous breath. “Mom! What the hell? The location app showed you and Sam both out in the middle of Stillhouse Lake. We’ve all been worried sick. What’s going on?”

I try to find the balance between telling her enough of the truth without triggering any alarms. I don’t want to send her and the others into a panic. “There was an accident, and Sam hit his head. We’re at the hospital getting it looked at.”

“Why were you out on the lake? It’s freezing outside.”

I can still feel the chill in my bones. “I know. It’s a really longstory, and I promise I’ll tell you everything. But right now, I need to go check on Sam.”

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