“Is he going to be okay?” Her voice sounds small, scared.
“Yeah, he should be.” I close my eyes, hoping that what I just said wouldn’t end up being a lie.
“Are we still in danger?”
I press my fingers against my eyes. I wonder if the answer to that question will ever be an unequivocal no. But the current threat is over. At least for now. “No, we’re good. Sam and I took care of it.”
She waits. When I don’t say anything more she lets out a dramatic huff. “You’re not going to explain, are you?”
I glance toward the doorway, knowing that anyone could overhear whatever I say. I’m acutely aware of the fact that I was found clutching the body of a woman who’d been stabbed in the neck. The police are going to have questions for me, and I want to make sure I choose my words carefully when I answer them.
“Not right now. I’m sorry, I know that’s frustrating.”
“Ugh. Fine. I understand,” she grumbles begrudgingly.
“Is everyone okay there?” I ask.
“Yeah, Connor and Javi are out in the barn, putting together a bunk bed for one of the new guest rooms. Florida’s in the nursery, teaching Kez how to properly fold onesies. Apparently, the extended Belldene family has had lots of babies, so she’s had plenty of practice. I was pretending to read while trying not to freak the fuck out about the fact that you and Sam were out in the middle of a frigid lake for some fucking reason.” She isn’t able to hide her bitterness with that last statement.
I close my eyes at the anger and accusation in her voice. I can understand why she’s upset. “I’m sorry we scared you.” I mean it with every fiber of my being.
“Yeah, well…” She trails off. In any other family, the end of that sentence would be:Don’t do it again. Unfortunately, we’re not like other families, and that’s not a promise any of us can make.
As much as I wish I could race to Kez’s and pull my kids into my arms, I know I have a long night ahead of me. “I still haven’t had a chance to talk to the doctor about Sam. It might be a while before I can come get you all. You okay to stay there tonight?”
“Yeah, we already figured that. Kez and Javi said the three of us can stay as long as we want.” She pauses, then says, “You’re sure you’re okay? You’re not just saying that, so I don’t panic?”
I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to infuse my words with as much sincerity as I can. “I’m okay.”
“Make sure you stay that way,” she says. “I may act like I’m ready to leave the nest—and in some ways, I am—but I’m not ready to leave you. So, you can’t leave me either.”
My throat tightens. “I won’t,” I tell her. “I promise.”
After my call with Lanny, a nurse comes in to take my vitals and drop off a pair of dry scrubs and a mound of warm blankets. She lets me know that Sam is stable, and they’ve sent him upstairs to get images of his head to make sure there are no fractures or internal bleeding. Once he’s been transferred to a room, they’ll let me know so I can see him.
I quickly change, my entire body shuddering with near ecstasy when I wrap myself in the heated blankets. I take a moment to breathe, trying to regroup after everything that’s happened.
Except I can’t stop feeling the boat rocking under me when Madison taunted me and threatened to capsize us. I can’t stop hearing the way she screamed when we were underwater, the concrete block dragging us into the depths. I can’t stop seeing the anguish in her expression when she realized I wasn’t who she wanted or needed me to be. I can’t stop remembering how warm her blood felt against the frigid water of the lake.
My stomach roils, and I shake my head, pushing myself up from the hospital bed. Enough. Madison murdered men in cold blood. She hunted them, tracked them, in some instances tortured them, then executed them. She’s a monster. Like Melvin.
She was only a monster because of you, a voice whispers in my head.She killed those men for you.
I press a fist against my chest, a familiar guilt settling heavily on my heart. It’s the same blame I still feel for not figuring out about Melvin earlier and stopping him. The same recriminations begin to pile up fast and hard in my brain. If I’d asked more questions, if I’d looked closer, if I’d connected the dots…
Thankfully, a doctor arrives, breaking the vicious thought cycle. He lets me know that Sam’s scans are clear—no fractures or internal bleeding. He does have a concussion, however, and since it’s not his first one, they want to keep him for a day or two to monitor him. He tells me it may take a while, but says Sam should make a full recovery.
I nearly weep with relief but force myself to keep it together as the doctor leads me to Sam’s room. When I get there, I pause in the doorway, overcome by the sight of him in the hospital bed, surrounded by tubes and monitors. He’s bare from the waist up, leads placed around his chest. A white bandage covers his arm, and another encircles his head. His eyes are closed and ringed purple, his face pale.
My heart hurts, and I press my lips tight, trying to stop the tears from clawing their way up my throat.
He’s alive, I remind myself.He’s going to be okay.
There’s a chair by the bed, and I pull it close, gently taking his hand in mine. His eyes flutter for a moment before slowly opening. He stares at me, and for the briefest second, I’m not sure he knows who I am. Then, the corner of his mouth twitches. It’s as close to a smile as I’m going to get.
He tries to talk, but it only comes out as a strained, “Hey.”
“Shhh,” I tell him. I squeeze his hand. “I’m here. I’m okay. We’re all okay.”