“What difference does it make?”
“It’s better if business is complete before you start on dessert.”Bea fanned herself with her hand.“Bet he was hot.”
“He was”—Anna raised a hand and let it drop—“I don’t think he’d like me talking about how he kissed.”
Her friend shovelled another mouthful of her kale and traditional grains salad into her mouth.
“I think he saw me as a hook-up for a night, then changed his mind.”
“Shows he’s got some smarts.”
“I love what I’ve seen of his designs.And I didn’t expect to.I expected utilitarian, regulation compliant, and—honestly—bog standard,” Anna admitted.“Shame on me.”
“Are we still talking about his kisses?”Bea fluttered her eyelashes.
Anna laughed and picked up her sandwich.“No.”
“Did he flash his designs while you were in this clinch?Was it a full-body kiss?”
“What’s your sudden fascination with a kiss?”
“I’ve been fascinated by kisses since my cousin’s best mate offered to teach me when I was twelve.”Bea tapped her mouth demurely with her napkin.“Today’s fascination is with you.How long has this drought been?”
“I’ve kissed.”
Bea looked at her.
“Okay.I’ve dated occasionally.Done some heavy breathing—"
“Isthatwhat you call it?”
“I haven’t had sex with a man since—” Anna did a calculation in her head.
“Let me help you.You haven’t had sex with a man since Kate told you she’s having a baby.My guess is that subconsciously you’re expecting a niece and are already modelling good behaviour.”
That’s not”—she frowned—“a conscious decision.”Kate and Liam didn’t want to know the gender of their baby.
“It’s a mothering kind of decision.”Bea checked her smartwatch.
“That’s warped.”
“I assumed it was an identical twin thing.You’re looking out for your niece before she’s even born; don’t want any shonky characters in her life.And I’m going to have to go.”Her friend pushed back from the table.
Anna glanced at her uneaten sandwich.
“Stay.Finish that.”Bea passed her and rested her hand on her shoulder.“You have lots of lovely, honourable male friends, many of whom you’ve known since long before you met me.You just never fall in love with them.Call me.”
Anna bit into her sandwich and started chewing.She redid the mental calculation.Bea was right.She wasn’t even vaguely promiscuous, but she was young, healthy, and hoping to find someone she could love, so of course she dated, had occasionally extended or accepted an invitation to stay the night.
How on earth will I know it’s Mr.Right or even Mr.Possible if I don’t sample the wares?
Except she hadn’t sampled anyone’s wares since Kate’s early ultrasound.
Pop psychologists would probably have an explanation, but she wasn’t going to ask.Bea was right.Trusting herself was her biggest issue.She took another bite of her sandwich and scowled at the plate.Was Hunter shonky or, more importantly, unreliable?”
Her head said “the jury’s still out,” but her heart wanted to disagree.
Anna had learned suspicion at her father’s knee.The lesson had been reinforced in her teens.If it had been hard to trust before Helen was sexually assaulted, it became almost impossible after Helen’s death.