Asher:She wouldn’t stop pacing by my cubicle – it was like a full-blown stalker.
Asher:*gif of stalker mode
Me:Well, you only have yourself to blame. Knowing you, you probably started the whole thing teasing her from the moment you walked into the office.
Asher:GASPS! I’m appalled, Hadley.
Me:So, you’re saying I’m wrong?
Asher:I can neither confirm nor deny that accusation.
Asher:Also, I can’t help it that she’s so Type A that she hates not being in control like that.
Me:Yeah, it is rather fun to mess with her, so I’ll give you that.
Asher:She’s at it again.
Asher:*video of Lexi walking by cubicle twice
Asher:Control your best friend. Maybe we should get her a leash or a shock collar to keep her in line.
Me:For Fucks sake Lex, calm down. No one knows except the baker who’s making the cake and the doctor who did the actual sonogram.
Lexi:And which bakery was that again? The one on the 9th, right?
Me:Yeah, why.
Asher:Umm, what did you say to Lexi that has her rushing out to the elevator.
Me:ALEXIS NICOLE BAKER –ALMOST HARRINGTON! You get your ass back to your office, missy. I’ve got eyes and ears everywhere.
Lexi:Asher is such a traitor. I was just going to get a coffee, I promise.
Lexi:*gif of little girl batting her eyelashes
Me:Lies, all lies. I’ll Uber Eats you a coffee if you need one so bad, or I’ll bring you one by myself.
Lexi:I take offense to that. Can’t a girl just be so excited to know if she has a godson or goddaughter on the way?
Me:Who said anything about you being the godmother? Maybe I’ll ask Brynn.
Of course, we want to ask her to be the godmother and Ben to be the godfather. But I want to make her sweat it out a little.
Lexi:Sniff. Sniff. What’s that smell? Smells like burning silicone.
Me:You leave my posse alone, you monster!
Well, that backfired… Maybe if I had the real thing, I wouldn’t have to be scared about the demise of my vibrators.
Lexi:All you have to do is tell me blue or pink.
Me:Okay. Okay. I’ll tell you. It’s a…..
I set my phone down and get back to cleaning the apartment. By the time I returned twenty minutes later, I have an ungodly number of texts from Lexi. Clearly, she didn’t find my joke that funny.
Lexi:What is it?
Lexi:??????