Page 72 of Keeping Promises

Unsure I want to hear the answer, I ask anyway. “So that still doesn’t explain how you ended up in his room.” I need to listen to her say the words.

“Well, when we realized my friends had ditched me, I wanted to leave, but I was three sheets to the wind. Asher didn’t feel comfortable putting me in a cab and sending me on my way alone across town back to campus, which honestly, I’m glad that he didn’t because I’m not sure I would have even made it back to my dorm in one piece. So he told me to sleep it off in his hotel room.”

My eyes begin to fill up, and I twist my hands as nerves rake through me. I don’t realize I’m shaking until Zoe places her hands over mine.

“I swear, Hadley, nothing happened. He helped me into his bed, and that’s the last thing I remember. I passed the fuck out and woke up this morning to the guys arguing. Asher even went as far as leaving water, Advil, and a trash can next to the bed and this morning got me a coffee.”

The tears break free of the dam, and I have to wipe them away.

“I’m sorry for everything,” she repeats for what feels like the millionth time. “I should go. Thank you for hearing me out, though.”

I nod, escorting her to the front door. “Thank you for coming to talk to me.”

“Hadley, for what it’s worth, Asher really does love you. When we were talking when I first approached the group, we were talking about you.”

“You were?”

She nods. “I said how happy I was for the two of you, and the way his face lit up as he talked about the excitement of the new baby and you, I could see it written all over his face.”

“What written all over his face?”

“How much he loves you. I don’t know if you guys have said it yet, but I know he feels it. Please don’t let my mistakes keep you two from being together.”

I may not respond, but my thoughts are screaming. Zoe’s words resonate in my head, just like my mother’s had.“Don’t let my mistakes keep you from loving and being loved.”

“I’ll see you later, Zoe.”

She gives a small wave before leaving.

Once I shut the door behind her, I spin, resting my back against the wood. I bring my hands to my bump, and the emotions are running ramped in my mind. Asher was telling the truth about that night if everything that Zoe said is right, but I need to decide whether I can trust Asher. Isn’t that the big issue here?

Zoe says that it was written all over his face that he loves me, but do I love him? I do, and I never got a chance to tell him how I truly felt. Feelings and opening up to someone are terrifying. I let it all get in the way with Josh, but what I felt for him versus what I’m feeling now are different. The thought of being without Asher tears me up inside. Is it possible that he loves me? Although with the way I reacted, how can you love someone that thinks the worse of you without a second glance?

The more I thought about it, the more I overreacted, but is trusting him the issue in the long run? I didn’t believe him when he tried to explain. I guess I never really gave him the chance to. I was so caught up in my head, and what he said was one hundred percent correct. I don’t know that anything he would have said would make me change what I thought.

Why didn’t anyone ever say how terrifying loving someone is? Can we ever really get past this?

“I’m sorry things are so confusing now, Peanut. I hope I can figure things out for all our sakes, but especially yours. Your daddy does love you, I promise.”

I make my way back to bed, more confused than ever now.

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