Page 27 of Chasing the Horizon

I just wish Joel could be here. I wish Bree wasn’t sick. I wish. I wish so many things.

Esme suggested they watch a film together in the living room that night. All the Suttons piled in, agreeing to Esme’s suggestion ofRemember the Titans, which had come out so long ago that it was possible that the Suttons had all watched that together as a family back in the old days. Victor settled on the sofa next to Esme with a bowl of popcorn on their lap and his arm around her shoulders. Throughout the first few scenes, he couldn’t fully focus on the movie. Instead, he observed his grandchildren watching it, viewed the light play out across their faces, and felt their anticipation as the story unfolded.

Realizing this was the happiest and most comfortable he’d felt all day, Victor tried to freeze the moment, to hold it longer than time allowed. But soon, the scene ended. Esme got up to make more popcorn for the kids, and Victor’s arm chilled across the top of the sofa.

Time was going to have its way with them, no matter what.

Chapter Ten

December 2024

Six Months Before The Accident

It was December 18th, just a week from Christmas Day, and Valerie was on the phone with Catherine, discussing the upcoming baby shower and assuring her that everything was all set. All the way in Manhattan, Catherine’s voice sounded small and tinny, and Valerie found herself overcompensating, sounding like someone between a cheerleader and a pregnancy podcaster. “All you have to do, Mama, is sit back and relax and let the days unfold till then,” Valerie told her, pacing in an empty room of the new house. It was a room she’d more or less decided to make her office. This was her first “business” call in said office.

When there was a moment of long silence, Valerie asked, “How are you feeling, by the way?”

Catherine’s voice sounded stiff. “What do you mean?”

Valerie felt as though she’d asked the wrong question. How did she not understand what I mean? She stuttered, “I mean, with the baby?”

Catherine sounded surprised. “Oh. The baby’s fine. I’m fine. I’m fatter than I’ve ever been, but it’s a gift, right?” Her voice was laced with sarcasm.

Valerie felt as though she’d been smacked. Never had she and Catherine spoken to one another like this—as though their pregnancies weren’t the greatest gifts. Valerie considered reminding Catherine of how beautiful this time was; she considered telling her that soon, when the baby came, nothing would be calm again. But she couldn’t guess Catherine’s mood, and she wanted to get off the phone as soon as she could.

Catherine did not ask Valerie how her pregnancy was going.

After that strange call, Valerie padded downstairs to find Alex in the living room, measuring the wall. All day, it had been like this. Alex measured areas of their new and empty house, wondering where to put the few possessions they brought from the cabin. There was a light behind his eyes, an excitement that made Valerie forget about Catherine immediately and fall into his arms.

They decided to go to their favorite Mexican restaurant for lunch. Over enchiladas and tortilla chips, they talked about how best to decorate their massive new house, about paint colors and what kind of furniture they would eventually purchase when Alex’s film sold to a major production company and Valerie brought in another few wedding jobs.

They were always talking about the future as though everything would go perfectly.

“And don’t forget book sales,” Alex reminded her.

“Right!” Valerie laughed. Sometimes she considered the book more of a therapy experiment rather than a viable way of making money.

But even she had to admit, the book writing was going better than she’d ever dreamed of.

Back at the cabin, Valerie and Alex continued to pack up their belongings. Now that the new house was empty and clean, they’d decided to move their basics over today and have their bigger things, like furniture and appliances, moved via a truck later that week. Alex refused to let Valerie carry anything heavier than four or five pounds, which left Valerie standing around, feeling silly, watching Alex carry suitcases and boxes out to their cars.

The cars were stuffed to the gills, and the cabin looked vacuous, expectant. Alex had already had an offer from a buyer, a guy going through a divorce who nevertheless wanted to live close to his children and help them grow up. It broke Valerie’s heart to know that he’d be going through such a dark time in a home that, for her, had brought such happiness and the best reunion of her life. But she supposed that homes were there for different seasons of life; they offered soft comfort in the darkest of times. She was glad Alex could give him that.

When Alex and Valerie returned to the house that night, Valerie wasn’t surprised to find Rebecca and Bethany waiting on the back porch. Bundled up in coats and carrying tote bags of nonalcoholic wine and plenty of apple cider, they poured into the house excitedly, throwing their arms around Valerie and Alex, and saying they wanted to throw them an impromptu “housewarming.” Apparently, Rebecca’s daughter Shelby was back from college for winter break, and she was watching the younger children for “a startling rate.”

“I never dared to ask for that much for babysitting when I was younger,” Rebecca said with a laugh. “But she lives in New York! I guess she needs the cash.”

“She’s a businesswoman,” Valerie said, smiling.

It was in the upper twenties, and snow swirled over the Nantucket Sound. The sky was a dark bruise and headed towardthe murky gray of a cloudy night. They poured hot apple cider and sat in the sunroom, watching the snow and the water and talking. The three sisters—Rebecca, Bethany, and Valerie—could hear Alex upstairs, unzipping suitcases and putting clothes away. Valerie took a breath and thought,This is my life. It’s really happening.

“Has Mom mentioned anything about couples therapy with Dad?” Rebecca asked a little while later.

“Nothing! It’s driving me insane,” Bethany said. “I’ve asked her myself, and her eyes get all weird. She’s like, that’s private. I get that. But I’m so worried about her. I’m worried she’s having second thoughts about taking Dad back.”

“They seem happy, mostly?” Rebecca said, then directed her eyes to Valerie. “What does he say to you? Since you’re writing that book, you spend the most time with him.”

Valerie thought back to her countless hours with her father, during which they’d spoken intently about how best to tell the story of their family’s life.

---