She sighed. “Then help me to understand.”

“You got to fight back.”

“Not really. Nik hid me here.”

“In the end, you got to fight back.” She had. When the customer who paid for her broke into the mansion, she used a knife from the dinner table to try to defend herself from him. “You had a chance to attack the person responsible. And that had to feel satisfying. Like closure.”

“Not really.” She shrugged. “This feels like an argument about semantics, but it’s not like that. The Cartel captured me and roughed me up. Not Diego. Diego only bought me and wanted to collect. There’s no way I could’ve sought retaliation and gotten revenge on the entire Cartel.”

I showed her my hand that was missing two fingers. “But you could. You weren’t wounded so badly that you were weak and worthless.”

She squeezed my hand that still rested on the counter. “You arenotworthless.”

“I won’t know my own worth until I find and kill Avilov. I haven’t had a chance to fight back.”

“So what? Your brothers have and will. We are all supporting you, Dmitri. Justice will be served—one way or another—by your loved ones. And that’s not something to scoff at.”

It is if my brothers let the Feds have Avilov.I’d never be able to go after him then. My opportunity for closure and payback would be taken from me for good.

“You understand that, right?”

I scowled at her.

“You Bratva brothers act as one. You are a unit. A family. What one brother does is a projection of what all do.”

“It’s not the same.”

She stood. “It can be. It can be the same.”

“You’re saying I should give up?”

She shook her head. “Not at all.”

“What’d you do with your need for revenge?”

“Let it go. I met Nik.” She lifted her arms a bit to emphasize her baby. “We looked forward, not backward.”

Yeah, but Nik killed that fucker for you. Itisthe same thing I want. The chance to kill my torturer.

“All I will say is that you should rest, Dmitri. Your body—and mind—will heal.” She tilted her head to the side. “Isn’t Hannah reminding you of that? To be patient and recover at the pace your body needs to?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, she says stuff like that all the time.”

Amy smiled. “Because it’s true. Be patient. I was. And it helps.”

“I’m trying,” I said, not entirely lying about it.

“Go easy on her,” she advised.

“On Hannah?”But she comes like a goddess when I’m rough with her, just like she likes it.

“Yes. She seems so sweet.”

Tastes sweet, too.Still, the reminder of the woman I yelled at bothered me. “It’s not like she’s staying.”

“No?” she challenged.

I shook my head and screwed the lid on the olive jar. “No. She’s just my nurse. Or therapy aide. Whatever. She’ll only stay until I’m better.”