Page 34 of Nitro

“Blackmail.”

“The best kind. No one wants to be associated with kiddie porn. He’s got all kinds of people in his back pocket. Everyone from local sheriffs to senators. I was too young to remember all their names, but occasionally, I see one on TV. It makes me sick every time.”

“Anyway, I couldn’t find a way out, so I lied. I told Blackstone I didn’t know what happened. The whole thing was written off as an accidental drug overdose. But after that, guests had to keep their medication locked up in the safe in their room. Blackstone probably suspected me, but he never had any proof. I got lucky.”

“I don’t know what to say. What happened to you is horrible.”

“Please don’t pity me. I can’t have you looking at me like that.”

“It’s not pity. It’s compassion. I can’t even begin to understand what something like that would do to a person, but Nitro, I’m not judging you at all. None of that was your fault.”

“I know. But there are other things that happened. Stuff I haven’t told you. I’m not normal, Holly. I never will be.”

“Don’t shut me out. Tell me anything you think I need to know.”

“I wish I could. I really do. But that’s enough for now. You’re tired. I see it in your eyes. Let me take you home.”

“Did coming here help?” she asks as we walk to the bike.

“I’ve never talked to anyone about it before.”

“But you felt like you could talk to me?”

“Yeah.”

“When you’re ready, will you tell me more?”

“Yeah, maybe.” I give her a soft kiss before helping her onto the bike. “Hold on tight, kitten.”

“I love it when you call me that.”

“Good.”

As I drive us back to the clubhouse, I feel like some of the burdens I’ve carried around my whole life have been lifted. I’m not big on talking about my feelings and shit. That’s girly stuff. But talking to Holly’s different. She’s so gentle and understanding. She can listen without interrupting and she doesn’t ask a bunch of stupid questions. I couldn’t see someone like Crystal having the same level of patience. I guess that’s what I need, a woman who can tolerate listening to the hard shit. Holly’s been through a lot. Probably more than she’s telling me. So maybe that’s why we’re good together.

I ponder this all the way home because I feel like I’m onto something. Maybe it’s the path to healing I’ve been yearning for my whole life. I don’t want to release this thread now that I’ve finally got a hold of it. It’s connected to Holly, so I can’t let go of her either. Somehow, she’s the answer to my prayers, and maybe she’ll be the key to my salvation.

Chapter 10: Holly

When we get back to the clubhouse, all I want to do is cuddle with Nitro. He needs to know that it’s safe to tell me his story. I know there’s a lot he’s not disclosing, but I’m not sure why. What could possibly be worse than what Blackstone and his disgusting friends did to him? Nitro was so vague about his family. I don’t understand how someone couldn’t know where they lived. Even someone as young as six would have some idea of what his house looked like. There’s more to that story, but I don’t want to push him right now. I just want him to know that what he told me hasn’t changed my perception of him. If anything, it’s helping me to understand him better.

“I’m going to take a shower,” he says after closing his bedroom door.

“Can I take one after you?”

“You can go first.”

“Or … we could go together.” I hold my breath as I wait for his response.

“If we both get in that shower naked, you’ll end up with a few more bruises. We’ll set your healing back by several weeks.”

I blush so hard my face feels like it’s on fire.

“I’d love to lie and tell you I’ll be gentle, but I’m not that kind of man.” Darkness clouds his face.

“What do you mean?”

“I like it rough. Really rough. And you’re in no condition to handle that anytime soon.”

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