Page 55 of Nitro

Talon laughs while Matrix shakes his head. Reaper finally manages a smirk. I glower at them before leaving the room. Fucking assholes. If I didn’t love those dumb fuckers like brothers, I wouldn’t put up with this shit.

Back inside my bedroom, I find Holly picking up my clothes.

“Kitten, I told you I’d clean up when I had time.”

“I can’t stand the mess. Besides, I’m not doing anything else, and the thought of being stuck in bed without you isn’t any fun.” She pouts.

“Well, I’ve got something I need to do for the club. Scar wants me to take you with me.”

“Why? Doesn’t he want me here? Does he want me to leave? Was I too loud last night?” Her brow furrows.

“Nah, you were perfect. But here’s the deal.” I relay all the information I just learned. She asks a few questions.Once I’m done answering them, she definitely understands the importance of the task.

“What time do we need to leave?” she asks.

“You don’t have to go. It could be dangerous.”

“I’m coming with you. If this is how you finally end Blackstone’s career, then I want to be a part of it. I want you to be happy, and I know it won’t happen until you destroy that monster.”

My eyes burn. I blink back the sudden rush of emotion. She always shoots me right in the heart when she talks like that. She understands me. She sees what I need, and she’s ready to give it to me, even if it means putting herself at risk. That’s what a ride-or-die woman does for her man. It’s what an old lady would do for the club. If I had any lingering doubts about how I felt about her, they’re gone. She’s the only one for me. I’m totally, completely, hopelessly in love with her. I just hope she feels the same way.

Chapter 16: Holly

An hour before sunset, I climb onto the back of Nitro’s bike. The fake wedding ring on my finger feels foreign. I could have worn my real one, the giant diamond my husband gave me, but I took that off the day I filed for divorce. It’s in a small pill box underneath the sink in Nitro’s bathroom. He hasn’t mentioned it, so I didn’t say anything, but it felt weird to still be wearing it, knowing my marriage was over. The new ring isn’t nearly as extravagant. Julia picked it up at a department store in the mall for fifteen dollars. It looks real even though it’s not, just like my relationship with Jeff.

The ride up to Ridgeline Drive doesn’t take long. I love the feeling of freedom I have whenever we’re on Nitro’s bike. I’ve never been afraid of riding with him because I trust him. He’d never do anything to put me in jeopardy. Although he’s nervous about bringing me with him, I agree with Matrix’s assessment. Having a woman along always makes meetings feel less threatening. Jeff knew that little trick and used it all the time. He’d drag me to medical conferences or parties at the hospital just to show me off. Having a beautiful woman on his arm opened doors that would otherwise be closed. All he ever did was use me.

It hurts to finally admit it. I don’t feel that way about Nitro at all. Unlike Jeff, Nitro’s taking me with him not to help himself,but to help everyone who was ever hurt by Blackstone. We’re trying to prevent more pain, not gain something for ourselves.

When we get to the mill, I’m struck by the sounds of the forest. The river rushes alongside the old water-powered gristmill. Birds chirp in the trees, surprised by visitors. The mill hasn’t been in use for decades, so the animals aren’t used to seeing people around. A few curious birds fly closer, landing on the wooden bridge over the river.

“Let’s take a look around,” Nitro says, placing his helmet beside mine on the bike.

“This place is amazing.”

A three-story wooden building sits beside a huge water wheel. The wooden track used to divert water over it is broken in several areas. The large metal wheel isn’t moving. It’s probably rusted in place. That’s too bad. It would be stunning to see it in use.

“I can’t believe no one owns this anymore,” I say.

“Gristmills went out of style in the 1950s. This one is old, built in the 1880s by settlers looking to make their mark in the Wild West. It was in continuous operation for almost seventy years.” Nitro’s boots crunch through the rocks around the edge of the river.

“What happened to the family who built it?” I follow him across the bridge. It creaks under our weight, but the boards look solid.

“It was passed down from father to son. The last man who owned it never got married or had kids. He left it to the county’s historical society. They had plans to preserve it and turn it into a tourist attraction, but nothing came of it.”

“That’s so sad. Sometimes I think about family lines that just die out. You have thousands of years, countless generations of ancestors, and then nothing. One person decides not to have kids, and the whole line dies.”

“Do you want kids?” he asks.

“Yes, very much so.”

“Oh.” He tries to hide his frown, but I catch it.

“Don’t you want any?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why not?” I can’t keep the irritation out of my voice. I’ve always dreamed about having children. If Nitro doesn’t want any, then what? How can we stay together? Having a family isn’t something I’m willing to give up.

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