Page 122 of Somehow You Knew

“And what if I never get that?” I ask, my voice rough. “What if I end up dying before the age of fifty in my sleep like my father?”

She sighs, leaning back in her chair. “Your father refused surgery that could have saved his life, Gage. We’ve been over this.”

“Surgery has risks.”

“So doesnothaving surgery, but being open to it is half the battle. My goal is to give you the longest life possible, but you have to stop fighting me.”

I stare at the wall, looking at the same damn poster of the human heart I’ve been staring at for two years. One trip to the ER and then I was here, talking to Dr. Miranda, the same doctor who treated my father.

It was one year after I lost my dad to a heart attack and found out about the heart condition he’d been living with and kept from me.

But that day I’ll never forget—that day when Dr. Miranda told me that I inherited HCM from my father was the day my entire life changed.

“But as of right now, surgery isn’t an option for you,” she says, pulling me back from memory lane. “I’m still optimistic that the right medication and lifestyle changes can drastically improve your life. Sometimes it just takes a while to find the right combination.”

“What if I don’t have time, Miranda? What if I die tomorrow?”

She leans forward in her chair now. “We all could die tomorrow, Gage. That’s no reason to give up.”

I stare back at the wall, remembering the look on Hazel’s face when I told her that I wanted to be alone, that she needed to leave and remember that this marriage was just for money. She looked like I slapped her, called her the worst names in the book and basically told her that I hated her guts. But that’s the complete opposite of how I feel.

I’m in love with that girl, just like I told her that I was, which was my worst fear coming alive.

It’s not dying. It’s not never seeing another sunrise or sunset.

It’s leaving behind someone that I love like my father, mother, and aunt have left me.

I don’t ever want to do that to someone else, no matter how shitty or amazing the relationship is.

And the relationship with Hazel is more than I ever imagined it could be.

Fuck, the woman makes me want tolive—to experience everything life has to offer, to wake up next to her and fall asleep with her in my arms, to open up my own tattoo shop like I said I always wanted to.

She makes me want a future.

I just wish I could get my head and heart to believe in it too.

“Are you planning on going back to Carrington Cove?” Dr. Miranda asks.

“I—I don’t know yet.”

“Well, how does Hazel feel about all this?”

When I left Florida to move to Carrington Cove, I had to tell my doctor where I was going and why. One thing she’s always asked me for is honesty. The woman literally holds my life in her hands, so the last thing I want to do is lie to her.

“Hazel just found out when I had the episode.”

She presses a hand to her forehead. “Oh, Gage. Why are you so stubborn?”

I huff out a laugh as I brace my forearms on my knees. “Because I didn’t intend to fall for this girl. I didn’t think telling her was necessary if I planned on leaving once our six months were up.”

“And now? Are you saying that you have fallen for her?”

I sit up tall again and swallow the lump in my throat. “I have.”

“And what did she say when she found out?”

My jaw clenches tighter. “She said that we can make decisions together.”