Page 125 of Somehow You Knew

“When did they arrange this?”

“Apparently a year before your father was diagnosed with his cancer, right after Diane’s COPD diagnosis. Little did we know that he would die before her. He was supposed to deliver the letters, so I was gifted that responsibility. Once you and Gage got married, Timothy called me down to his office and explained the entire thing.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“You and me both, sweetie. But your father never did anything that he didn’t believe in, even arguing with Dallas about joining the Marines. He always wanted what was best for his kids. Even if he ended up being wrong, his heart was always in the right place.”

“So he honestly thought that an arranged marriage would be good for me?”

“It killed your dad every time that you got hurt in love. He wanted to give you every opportunity to find your person, and when Diane explained Gage’s circumstances to him, he knew that even if you two didn’t fall in love, that you would be someone he could lean on when Diane died. He knew what it felt like to be alone, to feel like no one understood you. Your father fought demons throughout his life that no human should have to face. So, he wanted you to help Gage not end up like him as well. He knew your heart wouldn’t let him.”

I can barely see my mother through my tears. “I can’t believe this.”

My mother holds up a pink envelope that’s been handled much more than the others. “Well, I got a letter too.”

We share a laugh. “Dad and his damn letters,” I say, staring down at the one in my hand.

“Yes, he had a way with words as well. Now, I have no idea what yours says, but just know that I’m here for you if you need to talk about it.”

I lunge at my mom, sobbing into her shoulder. “I love you, Mom.”

“Oh, I love you too, Hazel. You have no idea how much I love all of my children. You will be okay, no matter what happens with Gage, all right?”

I nod against her. “I know…because I have you.”

***

Sitting at the top of the lighthouse, holding a letter from my dad, feels like the past and future coming together at full force.

There was a time when he would be sitting here with me, holding my hand as I navigate yet another heartbreak. And for this one, I wish he were here now more than ever.

At least I have his words, which might as well be the next best thing.

I unfold the stack of papers in front of me and brace myself for what he has to say.

Hazelnut,

Don’t panic. I know you must have so many questions, and I hope that I can answer them for you even though I’m not physically there.

First, I love you. My daughter, you are one of the best things I have ever created and nurtured in my life. Your drive, your heart, your capacity for love—I hope you never lose sight of the amazing human that you are and how everyone who knows you is better because you are in their life.

Now, about this marriage. Yeah, I’m sure you are wondering how I, your father who loves romantic movies as much as you, would ever agree to an arranged marriage for my daughter. Well, the simple answer is that even if it blew up in our faces, Diane and I knew you and Gage would be set financially for life.

But the not-so-simple answer is that sometimes your soul knows something that you can’t explain.

Diane and I actually became friends when I ventured to the lighthouse for the very first time. It was after Dallas left for his first deployment and I was worried sick about him—how it would change him, how he might not come back alive. Diane was sitting on the beach right below the lighthouse, staring out at the ocean with her own worries and we just started talking. Turns out, she just found out her brother was diagnosed with a heart condition, and she was scared about what it would mean for his son, her nephew, if he died.

From then on, we would cross paths every now and again and as her health got worse, your mom and I would help her when we could.

When she received her COPD diagnosis, she was terrified of what it would mean leaving Gage behind, especially after her brother died unexpectedly. And by that point, you had already formed a bond with her as her photographer.

Well, that’s whenshe approached me with a crazy idea, and said she would only go through with it if I agreed. All I knew was that if she and I could bring two people together that needed one another in ways we couldn’t be there for anymore, then it was worth a shot.

And yes, I know that Gage could potentially have a heart condition like his father, but I know that even if he does, that would never stop my girl from loving him if he was the person meant for her.

So, I hope you understand that my intention was never to play God with your life. It was to give you a chance at one you’ve always wanted. Because even if the marriage didn’t work out, you’d have money to do whatever you wanted to.

But I know in my heart that your heart is not meant to travel this life alone, Hazelnut. You are a lover in every sense of the word—because love is showing up for people, even when it’s hard.

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