Page 76 of Somehow You Knew

“Nope. Don’t even go there.”

Willow tilts her head toward the deck. “Let’s go outside so we can talk more openly.”

I fill a wine glass and follow them out back.

“Okay, now spill,” Willow says once we’re all settled on the back deck. “What’s going on with you two?”

Sighing, I look out at my parents’ backyard, taking note of how big the trees have grown since my father planted them when I was a kid, how beautiful the roses look, and how gorgeous the sun looks as it begins to descend in the distance. “Nothing. Absolutelynothingis going on.”

Astrid snorts. “Okay. That’s a lie.”

“No, you know what? There is something going on,” I say. “My husband has two personalities, and I never know which one I’m going to get. One moment he’s apologizing to me with socks and I’m buying him a freaking recliner, and then the next we’re playing Truth or Drink, and he’s telling me to stop being so thoughtful—but also that he’s had dreams about me.”

The girls just stare at me, blinking.

Willow recovers first. “Okay…that is a lot to unpack.”

“Tell me about it! And don’t even get me started on the strange phone calls he gets from mysteriousMiranda.” Tipping my glass back, I take a big sip of wine.

Astrid holds a finger up. “Who the hell is Miranda?”

“That’s what I’d like to know!” I shout, my pulse racing.

Cashlynn places her hand on my shoulder. “Just breathe, Hazel.”

I set my wine glass on the railing and bury my face in my hands. “I’m just so frustrated and confused.”

Astrid rubs my back. “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but could that be because you’re developing feelings for him?”

I lift my head. “But we agreed…no feelings.”

Willow chuckles. “Yeah, well, I think the three of us can safely say that the biggest issues we’ve had in our relationships were usually the result of not being honest about ourfeelings.”

I glance back to the house. “He’s getting under my skin. The more we talk—whenwe talk, that is—the more I want to know him. And he has these moments when I see something in his eyes, like he’s holding himself back, but then he immediately shuts down…so I do the same.”

Astrid claps her hands together. “Oh my God! What if Diane was right? What if you two are meant to be together?”

I give her a look. “Right. Because nothing saysdestinylike a man who refuses to open up and a woman who should know better than to get her hopes up.”

“Maybe you need to push him a little,” Cashlynn suggests. “I mean, as I recall, last year you were the one telling me to push your brother into admittinghisfeelings. Now it’s your turn to give Gage the same treatment.”

Willow bounces with excitement. “Yes, I support this idea one thousand percent!”

Astrid claps again. “Me too!”

I shake my head. “No. I am notpushinghim to admit his feelings. He either wants me or he doesn’t.”

“Goose, Michael’s calling for you.” Dallas appears in the doorway, holding my nephew. As soon as Michael sees Willow, he lights up and reaches for her, stretching his little arms as far as they will go.

“Hey, baby boy!” She beams as she takes him in her arms. “Of course you were calling for momma—because you’re momma’s boy, aren’t you?” She peppers his cheeks with kisses and he squeals excitedly.

“Momma!” My nephew smashes Willow’s face in his hands and presses a kiss to her lips.

My heart aches at the sight of them—because the further I get into this marriage, the more I realize I may never have that life.

Even if things worked out with Gage, he said kids aren’t in the cards for him anymore, so would I even have the option of being a mom?

And what does that mean, not in the cards? Did he have a vasectomy? Can he not physically have kids at all?

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