We both turn our attention to the princess. “Are you okay?” I ask her.
She’s still staring down at the creature that attacked us. “I’ve never seen anything like it. Do you think there are more of them out there?”
I glance out over the rugged landscape. “It’s certainly possible.” I hope my earlier thoughts about it possibly being one of a pack were wrong.
She visibly shivers, but I don’t think it’s from the cold.
“How many men have we lost?” Balthorne asks the surviving guards.
“Three,” one of them says. “Haron, Arnain, and Korzith.”
“Damn it.” Balthorne closes his eyes briefly.
I imagine he’s thinking of the men’s families back home, and the devastating news he’ll have to break. More families torn apart. The world is a cruel, cruel place.
“Let’s gather the horses and keep going,” Balthorne instructs. “We still need to find somewhere to camp before dusk, and we can’t stay here now.”
“We’re still camping out here?” Taelyn asks, her voice trembling. “I want to go home.”
“We don’t have any choice, Princess. It’s too dangerous to ride in the dark, and the city is still a good half day’s ride away.”
29
TAELYN
No matter what we do,it’ll be dangerous, but I trust Balthorne’s decision.
Besides, I am fatigued, and I’m not sure I have any more reserves for traveling overnight. The information about my ancestry that the Mage gave me continues to weigh heavily in my heart, as does my hopelessness at the so-called ‘fix’ to save the kingdom.
Men are dead, and it was my decision to come out here. I’m returning with what feels like nothing, and they’ve sacrificed their lives, and for what? I feel like going back to the Mage and grabbing them by their bony shoulders and shaking another answer out of them.
We gather our horses. Several have run off into the moorland, taking our supplies with them. I hate the thought of leaving them out there to fend for themselves, but it’s too dangerous to try to catch them.
We can’t take the remains of any of the men with us either. While I’d prefer to give them a proper burial, no one wants to ride along with the headless remains of oneof the men slung across the back of their horse. The other men’s bodies are gone, probably meals for whatever other monsters live in this forsaken place.
We ride a short distance in silence, until we’re far enough away to no longer be able to see the remains of the monster, or smell it, either. I’m terrified to still be out here, but what can we do?
We erect the tents, with mine in the center of what remains of the men. I don’t want to be alone, but I also don’t want to give voice to my fears. Both Balthorne and Ruarok have agreed to take turns on watch, and the guards will also join them, but after witnessing what just one of those beasts is capable of, I fear it’s not enough.
I think back to the previous night, how all I’d really been worried about was the cold. The sheer depth of my naivety hits me again. I don’t want to doubt myself, but after the news the Mage delivered, how can I not? I’m not the person I’d believed myself to be.
I’m exhausted, but I know I won’t sleep. I doubt anyone else will either. We’re all just lying awake, our ears straining for the presence of any of the beast’s friends, and waiting for daylight to arrive.
The momentthe first few faint shafts of sunlight breach the horizon, we pack up once more and get back on the road.
We’ve made it through the night, and that’s what I need to be thankful for, but my heart is still heavy.
By the afternoon, we return to the city. We’re welcomed like warriors returning from war, with thestreets lined with people cheering and waving flags containing the dragonfly emblem with its deadly sting in the tail.
I feel like a failure. I don’t deserve their cheers. Men are dead, and what have I achieved? Nothing. We’re no closer to learning how to stop the rot than we were before we left.
Still, I turn over the Mage’s words.
A love sacrifice? Who could that be? I loved my mother and even the king, but they are both dead. I love Skylar, and Balthorne, too, in a completely platonic way, but I will never sacrifice them. Not even for the kingdom.
I gaze across the city, toward my home. The castle looks strange at the top of the hill, and for a split second, I forget why. Then it hits me that the tower is no longer standing. I’d forgotten, if only for a moment.
We reach the castle and ride into the courtyard. I’m weary from the long journey and from staying awake all night. Every muscle in my body aches from either lying on the cold, hard ground, or from spending hours on horseback. I probably haven’t eaten enough either, but I hadn’t been able to find much of an appetite. Every time the possibility of food was raised, I pictured that man with his head torn off, and my stomach turned over.