Am I the right person for that job? I’d never questioned it before—I’d always assumed I would simply step into those very big shoes—but now I’m not the only available heir to the throne. Would Ruarok make a better king than I would queen? I’ve always told myself he wouldn’t, but now I wonder…or is this just my own weakness talking? My fear. Does a part of me want to hand this responsibility over to him so I won’t have to deal with it?
I try to think back to how Ruarok acted about me being the one to take the throne. On occasion, he’s behaved as though he’s fully behind me, but then on others he’s made it clear that he expected to be the one seated in his father’s place. Maybe he’s right—he is the blood heir, after all—but then he was also locked away by his own father, so the king clearly had no intention of making Ruarok his heir.
It’s all so confusing.
I leave my chambers and head toward the king’s offices—no,myoffices now. I need to start thinking of them that way.
In the corridor, Balthorne stops me. He seems troubled, his features taut with worry. “Princess, it’s good to see you up and about.”
The way he speaks is as though I’ve been ill. Is that what people have been saying about me? I feel my hold on the kingdom loosening. The certainty I’ve had that I’ve been doing the right thing is starting to erode. I no longer feel confident in my decisions.
“Word is getting around that the journey to see the Mage was unsuccessful,” Balthorne says.
His words jolt through me, and the heat of shame rises through my body.
“It wasn’t unsuccessful,” I blurt. “We just haven’t worked out how to use the information yet.”
“Even so, people are worried. There’s been another part of the city affected by the rot. Not as big as the first time, but several homes have fallen into the ground, taking the people who live inside with it.”
This isn’t news I wanted to hear. “How many are dead?”
“Around fifty, I believe, though that number might yet go up.”
I cover my face with my hands, distraught at the news. “By the gods.”
“You need to make a decision, Princess. What are we going to do?”
I blink back tears, frustrated by my own lack of knowledge. I’d give anything for my mother and the king to be here, someone to take this weight of responsibility off my shoulders.
“I don’t know, Balthorne. I honestly don’t know.”
31
RUAROK
A knock comesat my door.
I frown and glance in that direction. I don’t get many visitors.
“Enter,” I call.
The door opens, and a man steps through, shutting the door carefully behind him.
It’s Cirrus Planetree. The man has never liked me, and the feeling is mutual. He was the man who led my arrest all those years ago and forced me into that cage.
“What do you want, Cirrus?”
He stands with his hands behind his back, his head lowered submissively.
“I’m concerned for the future of the kingdom.”
I cock an eyebrow. “Aren’t we all?”
“Princess Taelyn has been lying around in bed ever since you returned from seeing the Mage, and she’s brought back no information that is of any use. We need someone who is going to be decisive during these hardtimes, someone who is willing to make difficult decisions, and I’m worried that she is not that person.”
“You are?” I wonder where he’s going with this.
He nods. “She’s made mistakes that have gotten people killed. She gave money to those poor people in the city, and they were murdered because of it. She took guards out into the wildlands, and they never made it home again, and for what? Some mumbo-jumbo about love sacrifices from a crazy old Mage?”