Page 64 of Beg Me Angel

Luckily, the damage was minor. I had bruising that ran deep into the muscles and the pain in my ribs was a hairline fracture that was healing well.

I was glad to hear that, to know my body was fine. But didn't they understand the toll this was taking on my mind?

Emotionally, I was a fucking wreck. It was already hard enough not remembering, but to now have them telling me my savior was actually responsible for all of it, it killed me inside.

And to be honest, I didn't want to believe it.

There was something about him, something I felt, something I held onto. It went deeper than the surface and shutting it off wasn't that easy.

I couldn't stop my head from seeing his eyes and the way he looked at me, I couldn't stop the way my muscles trembled when I thought of his hands or how they touched me.

None of it was something I could erase or displace as just part of my pain. The detective was trying to say he held me captive, but he never actually said I wasn't allowed to leave.

Never once had Pax hurt me, he hadn't tied me up or locked me in a room against my will.

In my reality he had done the complete opposite. Pax had cared for me while I slept, he had fed me and kept me warm. He told me he would get answers, he told me he would help me.

Why would a man keeping me captive make so many promises he never planned on keeping?

Maybe it was all done to keep me subservient?

Maybe he said it to feed my curiosity all while never really planning on following through?

My head was starting to hurt with all the 'maybes' running through my brain. Cupping my temples, I rested my elbows on the table and rubbed the sides of my head.

How was I supposed to accept the fact that Pax was behind it all?

He had been there for me, holding me through confused tears, soothing me when the unknowns threatened to eat me alive.

He didn't do this, he couldn't do this.

There's a flaw that most have and are never really ready to admit; being wrong. I was too trusting of a stranger and I wanted to believe him, I wanted to think that he was good.

Because that was easier than feeling fear and a loss of control.

But monsters don't always just lurk in the darkest corners of your world, sometimes they're right in front of your eyes, staring into your soul.

The door to the room opened and a young woman popped her head in with a tender smile. “I'm sorry to interrupt, but Mrs—”

“Vera, Vera!” My mother rushed in, almost knocking over the woman as she charged into the room.

“Mom,” I said under my breath as I started to cry instantly. Standing up, I fell into her arms, letting her engulf me and hold me like I was still a child.

Kissing the top of my head, she gripped my face in her hands, looking at me like she had seen a ghost. “Oh my God, Vera, it's really you.” Her arms fanned around my head, holding me in place. “I can't believe it's really you. I thought. . . I thought I had lost you forever.”

I wanted to tell her how happy I was to see her, but all I could think about was the mess I was in and the friend I had lost. “They said Sara is okay, is she really alright?”

Brushing my hair with her hands, my mom's eyes were bright, shining in happiness. “Yes, Honey, she's fine.”

“When can I see her?”

Detective Deacon stood, stepping in and cupping my elbow. “Vera, for right now, we need you to wait, just until after everything comes back. We can't risk you getting false memories, it won't help us find the other man.”

“What if they never come back?” My mom hugged me tighter, rubbing her hands up and down my back. I didn't want to cry anymore, I was done feeling anything and everything, but my eyes kept weeping.

Dropping my head into her chest, I sobbed, I cried the most tears I had ever shed since the day my father left this world completely.

“Mrs. Sullivan, if you could just step outside so I can talk to Vera for a few more minutes, I would appreciate it. I know you really want to see your daughter, but it's extremely important that we get this all down while it's still fresh in her head.”

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