Page 35 of Pushed

Chapter Nine

Machi

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“Wake up.” Speakingsoftly into her ear, I drew circles over her cheek.

She hadn't looked at me at all since leaving the auction, she wouldn't look up, she wouldn't speak, she barely took an audible breath.

And I hated it.

As terrible as it might sound; I wanted her to scream at me, I wanted to see the fire in her veins and feel the thrash of her voice. If she felt the need to hit me, I wanted her to get it out.

She could do anything she wanted to me, I didn't care, as long as she still felt something.

But Imperial had numbed herself. Her eyes stayed steadfast on the ground, empty and blank, her body withered and slumped as we made our way back to her room.

I felt for her, and the fact she had been thrown into the middle of all of this. But it was out of my hands, I didn't have a choice but to force her to play along.

And a part of me felt tricked, like this woman had been dropped into my world just to show me what it felt like to still be alive. I was ready to make the ultimate sacrifice for justice, to force an ending to the place that had taken a piece of my world away.

But I felt different, my heart warmed to her, my muscles twitched violently the instant I had her in my hands.

Having Imperial to protect made me realize that there were things worth living for even though I felt like I had nothing left.

Slowly her eyes blinked open, her face cold and stern, lacking any of the emotions I had seen from her before. There was no anger, no hatred or regret. She looked dead, waiting patiently for the world to finally consume her.

Dark blue rings rested under her eyes, the soft skin was puffed up and swollen like she had spent most of the night crying. The thought of that twisted my gut like a serrated blade had suddenly cut me deep.

Just picturing her alone, expelling tears that weren't hers to shed; it hurt, it made me hate myself because she didn't ask for any of this. I had chosen this option for her.

This saved her, she would be dead already if Fior and Z had taken her.

If she ever wants to get out, it has to be done this way.

My chest stung seeing the pain and confusion, knowing how hard it was for her to understand my reasons for bringing her here in the first place.

But the answers she needed, the words that could lift her up and take away all this sadness. . . I couldn't give them to her. It was too risky, it could spoil everything I worked so hard for, leaving us both at the mercy of a bullet.

“Come on, you can't spend all day laying here, we have work to do.”

Rolling onto her back, she placed her arm up over her head. “I'm awake.” Her gaze stayed on the ceiling, staring blankly into nothing. She didn't frown, she didn't glance at me or shift her eyes.

I tried to read her, I tried to see deep into her mind to figure out what the hell she was thinking. But I couldn't, the girl who had swept her emotions off the floor and was willing to fight for freedom had vanished.

“We need to get started.” Pressing my hands into my knees, I leaned back, giving her a little space. “We're expected downstairs in twenty minutes.”

“For what?” Her voice floated through the air, flat and stale. “Temptation and desecration? A lesson in spanking, choking, maybe how to take a hit? Should I expect to be strapped to a board for perverts to drool over?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked, shifting on the bed. “I told you before all you had to do was listen, that was it. They expect me to teach you, they expect me to break you down. I don't have to do it their way if you just do what I tell you to.”

“Is that right? Their way, I saw their way, I know what they want.” Scrunching her brows, she shook her head side to side. “Do you really think I'm that stupid?” Imperial closed her eyes as she spoke, opening them slowly with a long exhale. “I know what this is now and I know exactly what you're doing. So why even bother treating me as anything other than a fucking object?”

Don't do this, try to listen, don't read what you think you see.

“I'll treat you however I want to. You lost your right to make decisions, remember? You abandoned your life when you looked in that window. But that doesn't mean I won't talk to you like you're still human. Do I have to spell it out for you? Rules are rules, we all have them and you're no different, not while you're still here.”

“That's what I keep wondering—still here, but for how long?”There was no fire in her tone, she was deflated, as if she had given up on everything, even herself. “What can I expect tomorrow? Can I expect to still be here?”

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