Page 60 of Man Seeking Woman

“You even lit the candles.”

“They were there,” shrugging her shoulder, she adjusted the candle holder slightly. “Why have something if you're never going to use it.”

The warm light of the candle created waves across her skin. The shadows of flames curled around her cheeks and jaw, reminding me of a warrior princess.

She looked so powerful, so beautiful, so incrediblyfuckable. . .

God damn, I want this woman.

Sitting down, I picked up my fork and took a bite. “Wow, this is amazing, Ella, really.” Wiping my mouth with my napkin, I nodded. “I'm serious, this is incredible. Where did you learn to cook like this?”

“Thank you,” she said humbly as she spun some noodles on her fork. “My mother taught me a thing or two over the years, and the rest I learned from practice.”

“I'm impressed.” Tipping a fork full of food in her direction, I stuffed it into my mouth.

“So. . .” Ella's voice was strong, but soft, as she looked up at me under hooded lids. “I think this would be the perfect time to get any awkward and uncomfortable questions out of the way. I just want to put it all out there.”

“Alright, ask me anything you want. What are your concerns?” Wiping my mouth with my napkin, I sat back, giving her all of my attention.

Her eyes fluttered around my face, bouncing from my nose to my lips, and up to my forehead. She was wearing her nerves like a satin cloak, doing her best to stay grounded and not sound unnerved. “I don't know, this whole thing is crazy and happened so fast. I don't even know if I've processed what the hell it is I actually agreed to. Where do I start?”

“Let's start with this. You will be fine, we will be fine, and the baby we have will always be fine. That will be our top priority once it's born, taking care of the baby first. We can agree on that, right?”

“How do you know everything will be fine?” she asked, her voice teetering in deep thought. “You can't know that for sure. One day this child will have questions and we'll need to give answers. What do we tell them when they get older and ask us how we met, or what happened when we found out we were pregnant? This isn't your typical story, this is something totally different.”

“We make something up, we can come up with a story—our story,the one we'll tell anyone who asks.”

“August, doesn't that seem like a pain in the ass? We'd have to live with this lie for the rest of our lives.”

“People live with a whole lot worse, Ella, I don't think this is going to send us to hell, or that our little white lie will send our baby to a shrink one day. He or she will only know what we tell them, and if we stick to our story, there won't be room for questions.”

“Alright, so say we do create this story or whatever, what happens after the baby comes? Are you expecting me to just live here forever, pretending that we're a happy couple for the next eighteen years? Living in lies with a smile on face as the world judges us in the paper because of who you are?”

“That's one of those questions we'll need to let play out on its own. As far as I'm concerned, that's up to you. I won't force you to do anything, but you can stay as long as you want.” Resting my hands on the table, I held them open, showing her I was just as vulnerable to this whole thing as she was. “As much as I need this, I can't predict how it'll end. But I won't let you stumble and fall, I'll be here for you just as much as I'll be here for the baby.”

Ella stared at me for a wordless minute, her fork poking and prodding the chicken on her plate. I didn't want her to worry about the things we couldn't control. The world would have their opinion, but I would never run from her and the baby.

Regardless of what the future brought, I would never abandon either of them. I was choosing this responsibility, as much as I needed it, I was also man enough to know it came with weight.

“Okay, and what about the sex?” she asked matter of fact, her lips pursing. “How does that work?”

“Well, the man takes his—”

Cutting me off, Ella giggled. “You know what I mean, I'm not asking you for a grade school sex ed explanation.”

“You sure? Because I can give you all the fine points if you have any burning questions.”

“August—” she said seriously, crooking her mouth to one side.

“Alright, alright, I'll stop playing around. Tonight, that's when the sex starts.”

“You're serious?”

“Very.”

“And what if—”

Not letting her finish, I reiterated the reason we were both there.“A baby is the point of this whole thing. I need a baby and you needed to get pregnant like yesterday.”

---