“You still want to do that?”
“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I?” Furrowing my brows, my lips twisted in confusion.
“I don't know, I guess I figured you wouldn't want to because you don't really need to.”
“I know that this arrangement of ours works for both of us, but I don't just teach for the money, I love what I do. Music is a part of me, and I want to share that with my students. My dream is to teach at Julliard, that's why I came to New York in the first place.”
August folded his arms over his chest, scratching at his chin. “Maybe I can help—”
Cutting him off, I held up my hand. “No, thank you though, but this is something I want to earn on my own.” Picking up my coat, I buttoned it up to my neck and threw my purse over my shoulder and started for the door. “Hope your day is better now.”
August had a satisfied grin on his face. “Let me walk you out,” he said, opening the door.
Diane was at her desk, her awkwardly wide smile now gone, replaced by big eyes and a frown. She didn't say a word to either of us, she just peered at her desk with stiff and rigid movements.
“Diane, you alright?” August asked her, tapping on her desk with his knuckles. “You look like you've seen a ghost.”
“Maybe I heard one. . .” Her voice trailed off as a visible shiver ran up her spine.
August started laughing, placing his hand on the small of my back and guiding me towards the elevator.
“What's so funny?” I asked, looking up at him as his face turned red and his laughing became heavier. “What is she talking about?”
“She,” he said, leaning in closer so his lips rested on my ear. “Heard us.”
“Heard us?”
“Yeah,heard us.”
Swallowing the vomit that had suddenly came up out of nowhere, I finally understood what he meant. Diane had heard us having sex.
Of course she did! Her desk is right outside his office you idiot!
Pushing the button for the elevator, August wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me in for a kiss. His kiss was strong, passionate, filled with more feelings than a paid baby mama should be given.
And in that moment I felt something flip on. My body became warm, my heart began to beat in a way that wasn't just excitement or because of nerves.
This was different, a connection, a moment between us that I thought he felt too. His eyes glinted like gun metal, his lips thinned into a knowing smile, his thumb drew circles over the small of my back.
It felt natural. It felt like two people who had somehow found each other by chance.
You can't get attached. This is a job, it's not real.
August took a step back and ran his fingers over his lips as if enjoying the sensation on his skin. “I'll see you at home.” Pressing two fingers against his mouth, he blew me a kiss and walked back to his office.
The doors closed to the elevator and I was left alone with this ball of emotions I didn't know how to separate or understand. There were feelings there that shouldn't exist, that shouldn't be whole and alive and breathing inside me.
But they were, and I had to figure out how to shut them off.
Because this wasn't real. We weren't real. We were a fictional image that he wanted the world to see in order for him to get what he wanted; a baby.
And I was taking advantage of his offer, using it for myself.
We would never be a real couple. We were never meant to be together.
All of this would be over in a year or less. Simple as that.