“No, she won't hate the baby. I promise she's not that cruel.” Taking me in his arms, he held me firmly against his chest. “But I have no idea what type of grandmother she'll be. I know from experience that she doesn't know how to relate to children, but maybe she'll surprise me.”
“This should be interesting,” I said, slipping into the backseat of August's town car.
“Well? How was it?” Jerry asked, looking at us through the mirror.
August held the pictures over the center console, grabbing his shoulder and giving him a shake. “I'm going to be a dad, can you believe it?”
“You know what, I couldn't before, but since you met Ella, it's easy to see you as a father.” Jerry gave us a sincere smile through the mirror as he started to drive. “You two were lucky to find each other.”
Taking in a deep breath, his words left me unsettled. He was right, I felt lucky and happy and like everything was the way it was meant to be. But then I had to remind myself that we weren't true, we weren't in love, we weren't two people who owned each other's hearts. . . And yet, I had never been happier in my life.
Playing house is getting too real. I'm falling in love with this man and I shouldn't be.
August looked over at me and braided our fingers together. Smiling, he leaned in and kissed me. “I feel the same way, Jerry, I really do.”
Does he really mean that?
The look in his eyes was full of passion and emotion. And for the first time I felt like maybe everything else didn't matter. We could raise the baby together, we could build a life, a great life, and live in our own happily ever after.
But I wasn't sure that any of this would last if his mother didn't give us her blessing. Deep down I knew we needed his mother's approval. Even if August tried to play it off like he didn't give a shit about what his mother or anyone else thought; I knew his mother's opinion mattered.
He might not realize it himself, but August wanted his mother's approval. That was why he brought me there to begin with. That was why he felt the need to involve her in the pregnancy.
My mother had been the complete opposite. She was ecstatic, unable to contain her joy and excitement to be a grandmother. She loved August when we went to her house for a weekend, and so did my sister.
When we left to come back to New York, my mother had this sparkle in her eye, taking his hand and telling him that my father would be proud that he was the man his daughter had chosen.
That made me feel happy and guilty. Our fake relationship had gone from involving two people, into involving two families. That meant two set of feelings, two sets of people who were going to be hurt in the end if the truth came out.
And one innocent child that would never know a true family, one where their parents had natural feelings and full hearts. This was our secret, and it had to stay that way.
Feelings have no place here, they never did.