Page 49 of Bound

And when it was over, I went looking for something that I would never find. I searched for a new home, a new life, a new me. . . but I realized fairly early that I was out there searching for something that didn't exist; I didn't fit in this world.

There was no such place, not for me. I was tarnished, crafted into a machine that was meant for destruction. I couldn't find happiness when I had no clue what the fuck it looked like.

A small flicker of guilt gnawed at my gut, making me wish I had never left. Guilt for not ever picking up the phone to call my brother, guilt for not being there to protect him. Maybe if I had been there, it wouldn't have ended this way. . . maybe he wouldn't be gone, and my mother wouldn't be suffering the way she was.

We never stopped being brothers, even though I stopped being his. Dead at eighteen years old, he hadn't had the chance to start his life yet.

It was time for me to do something for him. It was time for me to step back into this family, if only for a little while.

I know what I need to do.

My mind was made up. My brother was dead, and nothing would ever bring him back.

I'm going to make this right.

I'm coming home.

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