Page 33 of Calm Before the Score

“Yep. I never stopped. Money’s too good. Whatcha looking to do?”

This time will be different. I know my mistakes last time and won’t let myself get caught this time. I can’t afford to.

“College football bets. Send me the next few weeks on the cards. I need the money.”

“That’s my boy. Wait, I thought you were some hotshot college football star now? You know this won’t fly if the NCAA finds out?” he asks with fake concern. Logan doesn’t care if this ruins my college football career or demolishes my chances at the pros. All he cares about is the next check that hits the banks.

“You think I’m stupid, Logan? Do what you do best and get the odds over to me as soon as possible.”

“Alright, Shane, I’ve got you.”

I end the call, punch the steering wheel until my knuckles bleed, and let out a guttural sob until late afternoon.

Being evasive with my girlfriend today wasn’t on my bingo card for the holidays, but here we are. I know I should end things with her. She doesn’t deserve my complicated life full of lies and questionable decisions. I know I’m doing wrong by her, and she’ll never forgive me when she finds out what I’ve done. That was my plan when I came back home tonight, but when I open my bedroom door and see those crystal blue eyes that have somehow altered my brain chemistry over the last few months, I can’t. Call me selfish, but if our relationship, inevitably, has an expiration date, I want to spend every waking moment worshiping the ground she walks on.

***

We said goodbye to Mom bright and early the next morning. She has a flair for dramatics and cried as we pulled out of the driveway. I know I’m doing right by her and giving her every opportunity to prioritize her health, but why does doing the right thing have to feel like I'm dying inside?

I haven’t said much to Violet, so she takes that as a cue to connect her phone to my Bluetooth. She blasts Taylor Swift’sAll Too Well, and if I were a betting man–you are, you moron–I would say this song is predicting our future. Instead of being honest with Violet or breaking up with her to let her find someone who has a secure future, I grab her hand and trace circles on her smooth skin. I’m a glutton for punishment.

“I have practice this afternoon, but I can come by tonight,” I say.

“That sounds good. I know playoff season is intense, but you have nothing to worry about. You’re talented,” she squeezes my hand to reassure me.

My stomach bottoms out at her words becauseshe thinks this is about football.Keeping such a huge part of my life from her is a betrayal, but it’s better this way.

“The pressure to perform is always there, but I’ll chill out after round one.”

She shoots me that smile that I’ve grown to love more than anything in this world, and the guilt continues to eat away at me. I need to get my head straight before practice. The last thing I need is to blow my cover to the team before I have any cash rolling in.

Before long, we pull up to her apartment. Continuing my tradition of walking her to the door, I give her a gentle kiss and promise to be back later, but before she disappears into the apartment, I remember something important I need to ask.

“Vi, wait. Would you be my date to the football banquet? Coach makes it mandatory for the players, but it usually isn’t too painful.” I chuckle and shove my hands in my pockets.

“Of course. What should I wear?” Her eyes shine with the sun peeping in from the stairwell.

“It’s pretty fancy. Liza went with Locke last year, so she should be able to help better than I could.”

“I can’t wait.” She raises to her tiptoes, locks her arms around my neck, and sends me off with a quick peck.

23

Violet

“Hart, I’m taking the car!” I scream, grab the keys, and run out the door. He doesn’t have class today and didn’t mention any plans. I’ll just assume he shouldn’t need the car for anything. Liza meets me in the parking lot and hops in.

“Liza, thanks for coming with me. I have no clue what to wear, but I know I need to look hot.”

“No worries, girly! I’m super excited to do this together,” Liza says.

I love my new friend. Shopping for a dress to wear to the football banquet isn’t something that Hartley would be thrilled to do. Sure, he would do it to make me happy, but having Liza try on dresses with me will be so much more fun and exciting.

“I’ve never shopped for a fancy dress before. I didn’t go to the prom or any other school dances. I’m going to need your help, big time.”

“You’re going to be so easy to shop for. Look at your body. I wish I was that skinny, and your butt? Jesus. Ryan is going to die.” She gestures toward me in the cramped car.

“That’s the plan. He’s never seen me in anything this fancy. I want him to love it. Who are you going with?”

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