Page 37 of Calm Before the Score

“For you, I’ll be anything.” He looks straight through me with those piercing eyes. We settle in a spot by the edge of the crowd, attracting little attention. This boy knows me better than I know myself. He leans in for a forehead kiss and places his head against mine. The whole venue goes silent when my body touches his. It’s only the two of us in the room. I listen intently to the words of this song and can’t help but love this moment for us. I wish I could live in it forever with the boy who stole my heart without warning. He holds all of me in the palm of his hands, and if he ever drops my heart, I will be left as a shattered shell of the girl I was before.

24

Ryan

The bartender makes the last calls, signaling that the banquet is almost over. Violet, Liza, Hartley, and myself walk to my car to head back to their apartment. Thank god I’m driving because Hartley and Liza are beyond wasted. They stumble through the gravel parking lot, leaning on each other to keep their balance. Violet and I laugh under our breath at their attempt to walk straight with sunglasses on.

“I’m not cleaning up puke tonight,” Violet shouts ahead.

“Don’t even think about ruining my car,” I warn.

“Ahhh, shut up, Shane. You know you love me!” Hartley slurs. “You should clean up my puke for hooking up with my little sister.”

“Hartley!” Violet scolds, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

Liza chimes in, “Cut it out. They are the cutest couple I’ve ever seen.” She hangs on Hartley’s arm and points back and forth to us.

“Would everyone please get in the car?” My patience has run out, and the last thing I need is Hartley’s drunk crap.

Violet helps Liza get into the back seat. Liza insists that Violet help her so she doesn't accidentally flash anyone, with a follow-up announcement that she has no underwear on. I could have gone without that information, but here we are. Hartley drapes a lazy arm around Liza and leans against her shoulder. It won’t be long before the two of them pass out in the back seat. When we get back to the apartment, my girl and I help our friends up the stairs and into Hartley’s bedroom. Liza makes her second announcement of the night, this time from Hartley’s room,“I’m sleeping on the floor. I repeat–I’m sleeping on the floor!”

To which I add, “No one cares.”

Violet giggles and shoves my shoulder playfully. “Don’t be mean. They’ll be dating before the year’s over.”

“I don’t know if Hartley can make a commitment to anything besides himself,” I say.

“You’d be surprised,” she says with a soft smirk. Hartley loves hard, but I pray his commitment issues get better with the right person.

“I’m going to shower and change into my pajamas. You’re spending the night, right? Liza ditched me.” I would spend every night with her if I could.

“Of course, babe. I’ll change and wait for you out here,” I reassure her, kissing her cheek before she disappears into the bathroom.

I grab my clothes from Violet’s bedroom. There's a small nook inside her closet where I keep a few pairs of shorts and T-shirts. I live alone a few miles away from campus. Coach Daniels from high school owns the house and uses it as a rental property. He offered to let me stay there for free during my four years at Springs U. I pay him utilities because the mortgage has been paid off for years.

I wanted to stay home to be there in case my mom ever needed me, but she insisted that I get the “full college experience”. She’sstubborn, and it was easier to move out than argue with her. I enjoy living on my own, but it gets lonely. Being left alone with my thoughts is suffocating. Violet seems more comfortable in her own bedroom, and I like it here because it’s never quiet. Hartley is always bantering about something, and Liza’s been hanging around a lot more, too. Being an only child to my sick mom comes with lots of loneliness and responsibility. It’s been nice having a distraction from the turmoil in my personal life.

I finish changing in Violet’s bedroom and go back out to the main room. Grabbing my phone off the small table next to the couch, I see two missed calls from Logan.

Why is he calling me? I shouldn’t hear from him until after the games play out next weekend.I step out onto the balcony to call him back. He’s persistent and won’t stop calling unless I answer. The shower water begins running, so I know I have a few minutes of privacy before Violet gets out. I click Logan’s contact, and he answers on the first ring, “Don’t know how to answer the phone, Shane?” He sounds on edge.

“Make it quick. I’m at my girl's house and don’t want her to know about our arrangement.”

“I just got the odds on your team’s game, and it’s big money,” he probes.

“Don’t care. Not happening. I told you that’s a hard line for me.”

“Will a possible 2,500 dollar payout blur that hard-line?” I cough to keep from choking on my next words.2,500 dollars per game can drastically change the course of mom’s treatment. She needs the consistency of PT. She won’t do exercises on her own. If I take this bet, I could quit gambling after this weekend.

“You better not be playing with me, Logan. I swear to God.” Anger laced in my voice. This is serious cash and can change my life in more ways than one.

“I never play when it comes to business. Are you in or out?” he asks.

I left the balcony door cracked to listen for Violet. Faint tapping of feet on the hardwood floor approaches the living room. “Babe, where are you?” Her sweet voice calls out to me. If only she knew how horribly toxic and secretive her boyfriend really is.

I mute Logan’s call and yell, “On the phone with my mom on the balcony. Give me a minute.” My heart thumps out of my chest,and I’m hit with instant nausea. Lying to Violet does that to me.

It’s for the best.I try to convince myself that I’m doing the right thing by keeping her out of this.

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