Page 53 of Calm Before the Score

“I’m assuming I’m the pity party?” I laugh because she is the best comedic relief.

“Yep! It’s been a party of one for the last few months, and I can’t take it anymore. We’re changing the reservation to a wild night out party for two, baby!” She jumps up and down, holding a bag in her hand. Maybe I should think about going out. It’s been two months since that day, and I haven’t done much besides go to class and lock myself in this apartment to study.

“I guess you’re right. I’m in,” I say.

“Yes! That was much easier than I thought. Here, I even bought you a little something to wear tonight!” She throws the boutique bag my way. I open it and am greeted with the cutest nude romper. It’s thin-strapped with ribbed material to hug my body. My favorite part is the bow that covers the chest area with a small space for skin to peek through. I’ll admit this isn't my usual style, but I’m willing to try it on for her. She’s been the most patient and kind friend these past few months, and I want to thank her for that. Liza’s love language is gift-giving, and I want her to know how much I appreciate our friendship.

“I love it.” I pull her in for a hug, and we make our way to the bathroom to begin getting ready for the night.

“Umm, one question. Will he be there?” I glance to her, then back at the ground.

“He hasn’t been out since that day. I would say there’s a slim chance of us seeing him tonight.” She gives me a small smile. This leaves my mind wandering to Ryan again.What has he been doing if no one has seen him? Is he ok?

“I just hope he’s alright.”

“Me too,” she says. After the night Liza asked me to keep an open mind about Ryan, she stopped pushing. I’m grateful for that because I needed time to wrap my brain around everything.

“Who knows, maybe we’ll see some cuties out tonight! A hook-up wouldn’t be such a bad thing, right?” She nudges her hip into me playfully.

“No way. I’m steering clear of hot boys with trails of broken hearts for the foreseeable future.” I really need to focus on fixing my issues before bringing someone else into the mix.

“Ok, but can we still look?!” She gives me that playful puppy dog face that makes me cave.

“Looking isn’t off limits,” I say with a giggle, but I won’t be looking anywhere tonight besides the bottom of a vodka soda.

***

It’s 10 p.m. when Liza and I hop out of the rideshare to Downtown Tap. Nausea ripples through my stomach. The last time I was here, I was met with the love of my life, down bad in the worst possible way. Now, I walk in with Liza on my arm. I need this girl’s night. Staying locked away from the world in the apartment isn’t going to help me make progress mentally.

Ryan and I haven’t spoken since that day on my apartment steps. Each day brings new challenges and triumphs. We're greeted by a group of girls that Liza recognizes. She does a quick introduction before heading toward the bar to order for us. Liza has the male bartenders wrapped around her finger. She possesses the magnetic personality that draws you in. Saying no to her is unheard of. She orders two vodka sodas. I’m staying away from shots tonight. The last thing I need is a drunken emotional breakdown in the middle of the bar. I plan to nurse this drink for a while.

“Mason!” she screams and darts to the quarterback. I follow her with no plans of leaving her side tonight.

“Hey, ladies! I haven’t seen you two in a hot minute,” he squeezes us under both arms.

Mason is a sweet guy, and his sister has been a great boss. I gave her a brief recap about Ryan and me a few days after it happened, and she granted me extended time off of work. She said I could take all the time I needed, mentally, and return when I was ready. Paisley doesn’t need an extra employee but likes the company. I’m finally going back to work this week. I need a sense of normalcy in my chaotic life, and the bookstore is a happy place. I also need to kick it into high gear if I have any chance of affording classes next semester. Summer is also only a month away, and I need the distraction. She already told me I can work as many hours as I want this summer since I’m not enrolling in summer classes, and I’m taking her up on that.

“I finally got this bombshell out of the shackles of school for the night,” Liza says, pumping up my ego. She does it the best.

“Well, thank god for that,” he winks. “Someone that beautiful should never be locked away.” He’s smooth, and I can’t lie and say it doesn’t feel good. Mason is just a friend and a shameless flirt, but hearing those things about me definitely helps.

“She busted me out and dressed me like her personal doll for the night,” I wink to Liza.

“Liz, can you do this more often?” He grabs my best friend’s hips in a flirtatious way and gestures up and down my body, showing his approval. That’s Mason, a quintessential lover boy.

“Absolutely.” She kisses him on the cheek and takes a big sip of her drink.

“Boo!” Vibrates through my ears as big hands grab my waist and twirl me in a circle.

“Hartley! You can’t sneak up on me like that. You know I’m jumpy.” I can’t stop laughing. Leave it to Hartley to scare me half to death in the middle of the bar.

“Come on, sis, you know you love me.” Smelling the alcohol on his breath and hearing his slurred speech, I can quickly tell that he’s buzzed. Buzzed Hartley is fun. He may make questionable life decisions, but right now I just need fun Hartley to distract me from myself.

“Let’s dance!” he shouts and grabs both of our hands.

We wiggle our bodies to the dance floor and twirl around without a care in the world. I need this tonight. I want my mind turned off. After a couple drinks, I leave Hartley and Liza on the dance floor to take a breather. Those two are in their own world together, whether or not they realize it.

I scurry away to the bar to order my third vodka soda of the night. Tonight’s game plan has changed to getting drunk and forgetting the mess that is my life. The bar is busier than when we first arrived, so I wait a while before ordering my drink. Taking my drink off the counter, I spin my body around to join up with Hartley, Liza, or Mason again, but my eyes catch the only man to ever own my heart playing pool.

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