Page 56 of Shattered Soulmates

Alpha Stone sent me to a Beta workshop at Stone Mountain. We regularly attend educational classes provided by the Alpha Commander to help us become better leaders for our packs, so I always seize the opportunity. However, life feels rather colorless at the moment.

It’s my lunch break, so I go into the café next door to the headquarters. It’s a small mom-and-pop eatery that most employees and meeting attendees visit for breakfast and lunch.

As I grab my meal, I turn to look over the tables to find a spot to sit, and my eyes lock on Paisley. I startle until I realize she’s smiling at me. It’s been a long time since I’ve had the pleasure of being the recipient of her warmth. I lift my eyebrows in question, and she nods, gesturing to the seat across from her ininvitation. Hesitantly, I approach, looking around the room for her mate.

“Paisley,” I smile softly. “It’s been a while.”

“It has, Miles,” she replies, her expression regretful.

At this moment, it hits me: the pain of parting from Paisley is far greater than anything I ever felt when Marissa left me. I think I’ve finally realized the magnitude of my mistakes and the cost. Wanting Marissa was a leftover from my feelings of abandonment because she never stayed. I thought Marissa was the key—if she wanted me, I felt worthy. Now, in retrospect, I know the exact opposite is true. Marissa was never deserving of me, and I sold myself short, losing the best thing that ever happened to me.

My grandma used to say,Chase the glitter and miss the gold.

Speaking of gold, I stare into Paisley’s doe-brown eyes, the pain hitting me sharply. She looks away.

“What brings you to the capital, Miles?” she asks in a conversational tone.

“Beta workshop,” I say, taking a bite of my sandwich, which turns to dust in my mouth. I force it down with a gulp of water and set the rest back on the plate.“You?”

“Luna workshop,” she giggles, rolling her eyes. “Can you imagine me as a Luna?”

“Yeah, I can,” I say softly.“You’ll make a great Luna. You would’ve been a great Beta mate, too.”

“I think so, too,” she drops her gaze again, her voice tinged with sadness.“Anyway, Drágon is transforming the club into a more pack-oriented structure. It wasn’t founded with the wild party scene most people associate with motorcycle clubs, so he’s shifting the focus to highlight the successful businesses it operates. Right now, he’s out having lunch with the Alpha Commander and a few other Alphas.”

“Ah. That’s good. I’ve heard a lot of good things about him.”

“Yeah,” she nods in agreement.“He’s a good male.”

“Paisley… I’m sorry…”

When I open my mouth, she sighs loudly, slightly turning her head.She looks at me out of the corner of her eye.

“Miles…” she begins, stopping me by holding up her hand and shaking her head. Frustration radiates from her, and it’s obvious that she’s done with me. She is so done.

“Miles,” she starts again, taking a deep breath. “Let me clarify something here so we can be perfectly clear. I still feel a weak energy flow through our mark.”

She absently rubs the spot on her breast where I know the symbol is etched; I feel an answering twinge in my own ruined one as she strokes hers. “I also know we could be made whole again as mates.” My heart leaps with hope. “I can sense that you genuinely regret your actions and want my forgiveness.” Her eyes brighten with unshed tears as she blinks rapidly, trying to hold them back. “But you don’t realize I’ve been crushed by the damage done to our connection from the lingering intense pain from being abandoned and betrayed. I want to heal, but the bond won’t allow it—youwon’t allow it.”

I take a sharp, involuntary breath.

“You were my everything, Miles.My knight in shining armor, my hero, my light, my breath. I built myself around you and placed you up on a pedestal.”

I lower my head in shame. “That’s the danger of being on a pedestal; it’s a long way to fall.”

She drops her gaze shyly, voice dropping just enough to make me lean in. “You were kind of my daddy kink, too. You made me feel safe and protected, until I didn’t.”

Her words catch me off guard. I stare at her lovely face for a moment, drinking her in. Heat flickers through me, unexpected and not unwelcome, at the memories she evokes. But it quickly dies under the weight of everything I put her through.

I go quiet. “That year we were together, before Marissa’s ghost rematerialized, was the happiest of my life up to that point. I realize now that it was just a pipe dream for me. She’s always been a shadow between us.”

I lower my gaze, unable to deny it any longer. I’ve been lying to myself all along. I never truly gave up on Marissa. I inserted Paisley into my life as a placeholder, but I never fully acknowledged it until now.

“It’s my deepest regret,” I admit. “I truly loved you, Paisley. I still do.”

"It wasn't enough, Miles. Not enough,” she accuses.

I nod in agreement. She deserves the truth, even if I’m digging my own grave. "Please let me make it up to you. Allow me to put you on a pedestal, finally.”

---