Page 53 of The Drummer

CHAPTER NINE

Damage control. That’s all I have left. If she’s going to leave, I have to make sure it’s without a lawsuit or headline that will blow up our lives even more.

The way she stalks toward me with determination is a bad sign.

“You’re still mad,” I rush out. “I’m sorry, we didn’t?—”

Her arms shoot around my waist, her head drops to my chest, and she squeezes tight.

Stunned, I inhale sharply and pull her close.

My eyes slip closed as I let the strange warmth spread through me. I don’t even know the last time I’ve been hugged by someone without an ulterior motive.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” I ask gently.

It doesn’t even matter what her answer is. She’s still here.

She burrows closer. “I want you to stay,” she says faintly. “No matter what happens, what he says or does, you need to stay. Please?”

She leans back to lift sad hazel eyes to me. Our gazes lock, and something shifts between us. I don’t know what any of it means, but all I can do is nod.

I’d do anything for her in this moment. The fact that what she’s asking is a desperate plea on behalf of all three of us is a testament to the person she is. Another small bud of hope curls up from the depths of my soul.

I can’t save Luke. Neither can she. But we can save each other from the abyss that will threaten us when we try.

She drags her gaze away and settles close again.

“I can’t help him alone, Casey. I know that now. He needs you. I need you too.”

I rest my cheek on her damp hair. She feels so small in my arms, yet strong at the same time.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

My tone may be soft, but my oath is not. I understand what I’m committing to better than she does.

“Promise?” She tilts her head toward me again.

I return a confident nod. “Promise.”

Her weak smile breaks my heart. It’s her compassion leaking out. Her genuine love for Luke and her sudden awareness of how close she is to losing him.

She turns trusting eyes to me, her hope and her rock. For me to be either, we have to lay it all out.

“He told you he wanted me gone, didn’t he,” I say on an exhale.

Her slight cringe doesn’t surprise me. Those words hurt even more the second time around.

“Yes, but not for the reasons you’d think. I actually think it’s because he believes he’s bad for you. I think he’s afraid he’ll drag you down with him.” She takes a quick breath. “He said ‘again.’ What does that mean?”

My stomach drops. Old trauma rallies with fresh fears. I don’t even know how to begin answering that question, but I’ll have to start if we want any chance at fixing this.

“Please, Casey, I’m tired of being involved in your lives andyet not knowing anything. I don’t know how to help, how to even act, when I’m around you two.”

She’s right. We’ll get nowhere if we keep avoiding the fundamental reason we’re here.

Like a good hypocrite, I check the hall to make sure Luke isn’t eavesdropping, then lead her to the couch. This beast of a story is a “sitting down” conversation.

I pull her to the cushion beside me, and we shift to face each other. But once her wide, expectant eyes are trained on me, my courage drains away.

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