Page 93 of The Drummer

After a long silence, he releases a heavy exhale.

“No. I wouldn’t even have noticed her. I would have been too distracted, too full of myself to give her another thought. She would have hated me.”

“Yeah, probably,” I say through a chuckle. “She would have hated me too.”

His lips tip up but quickly flatten.

I sigh and follow his gaze back to the chair. “I don’t think Icananswer your original question. I don’t think anyone can. But I can tell you this—darkness can’t tolerate light and evil can’t tolerate good. So if Callie has wedged into your life, there must be something worth saving.”

His eyes slip closed.

My own feel hot and sore.

I rest my hand on his for a second, then slide off the desk to leave him alone. I don’t know if I believe in ghosts, but I believehehas one he needs to deal with.

As soon as I’m back in the hall, I pull out my phone.

Me: Hey, sorry for being an ass. You were right to choose dirty socks over us.

I add a silly emoji and shoot the text off to Callie.

If the universe is going to give me a supernova like Callie Roland, I’m damn well going to hang onto it as long and as hard as possible.

“You hungry?”Luke asks as he saunters into the living room.

I look up from the couch and adjust the guitar in my lap.

“A little, yeah. Want me to order something?”

“I got it,” he says with a weak smile. “Indian food okay? There’s a great place two blocks down. I can order in.”

“Sure.”

While he places the order, I return to the guitar. I recorded a rough worktape of the mirror song earlier for myself. It was my intention to improve on it and iron out some of the kinks before sending it off to TJ, but without Callie, it’s just not happening. Every take seems to be worse than the last. Everything feels… off.

Our short text exchange earlier became a phone call when she said she wasn’t coming back until tomorrow. Things got a little tense when I couldn’t shut down the privileged asshole in me as much as I should have, but afteranotherapology, we got back on track. By the end, she didn’t seem upset, so I believe her when she says it’s not personal, just logistics.

I still miss her like hell.

Come to think of it, maybe that’s why I can’t get the music to flow. My head is stuck in another apartment somewhere in this city.

“Food will be here in forty-five minutes,” Luke says, taking the seat perpendicular to me. “Working on something?”

“I was trying to, but it’s not happening.”

My fingers launch into an absent strum like they always do when a guitar’s in my hands.

“That sucks. You seemed to be on a roll.”

“Yeah, I was. I don’t know what happened.”

A smile slips over his lips.

“What?”

“You lost your muse,” he says in a smug tone.

I narrow my eyes at him. “No, I just…” I sigh. “Yeah.” I shake my head. “I don’t know, man. It’s just different with her, you know? She drives me crazy, but when I’m with her, I’m just Casey.”

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