Page 18 of Tracing Holland

September 15

“Donuts!Coffee if you want it!”our tour manager Kenneth calls, waving in the promoter’s assistant whose arms are loaded with provisions.I jump up from the couch to help him set his load on the table in the lounge of the bus.Eli and Sweeny are still in their bunks, and Callie and Casey are giggling in the back behind closed doors.I can tell Kenneth is annoyed at his small audience, but that’s nothing new.

“Where is everyone?”he asks, gripping his binder with white knuckles.

I struggle to suppress my grin as I shrug, amused by his abhorrence of all things rocker-living.Kenneth is a fantastic tour manager, but I can’t imagine a worse career for the rigid, detail-oriented drill sergeant than dealing with a busload of entitled, Type B artists day-in and day-out.

“I’ll fill them in, don’t worry.What’ve you got?”I assure him before his eyes burst from their sockets.

He mutters something and shakes his head in an attempt to refocus on his thick, tabulated binder.I grab a coffee from the tray and lean back, waiting for my instructions.I can sense the young assistant’s gaze and glance over, even more amused at his obvious awe as he hovers at the top of the stairs.He knows his job is done but is reluctant to end his brief moment inside the walls of this legendary shrine.I’ve seen it a thousand times and it still makes me smile.

“Come grab a donut,” I call over to the poor kid, half to be nice and half to watch the shocked horror cross Kenneth’s face.Breakfast with the help is most definitely not on his schedule.

The assistant has no idea what to do with my comment and just stares at me from the top step.I smile to myself and pull one from the box as if demonstrating the process of eating for my two companions.He’s now gazing up at Kenneth who’s glaring at me.I don’t know why I find this whole thing so funny, but I’m about to egg them on further when we hear shuffling.I turn and see Eli staggering toward us, sleep still in his eyes, right hand rubbing his messy hair.

“Oh hey, Kenny.Coffee?Fantastic,” he mumbles, grabbing another cup from the tray.He drops beside me on the couch and takes a sip.Oh god.“Kenny.”Kenneth hates that!

“What’d I miss?”

I have to restrain a laugh at the expression on Kenneth’s face as he scans his pages with suppressed ire.

“Nothing yet, Eli.Thanks for joining us.We were just about to begin.Now, I know we’ve had a tight schedule the last few days, and it will continue in Atlanta.We’ll have a nice break in Myrtle Beach starting tomorrow, but for now, I need you all to adhere to the plan and hang on for one more day until…”

“Can you book us each a room here?”Eli interrupts.“I need a real shower.Like, a big-ass ginormous one.I’m sick of sharing.”

I turn away to hide my smirk.I can’t tell if Eli is just trying to get under Kenneth’s skin or is really so oblivious.He has that dry delivery that makes it impossible to be sure.Either way, it’s hilarious watching the older man’s world crumble.

“Not in Atlanta, no.I’ve booked one for you to share for your cleanup today as usual, but that’s it.You will have a few rooms in Myrtle Beach.Perhaps you can hold out until tomorrow?I will do my best at finding ‘big-ass’ amenities on such short notice.”

I almost die.It’s everything I can do to hold it all inside.Eli just sighs and closes his eyes.It actually looks like he’s gone back to sleep, and I jab him in the ribs.He jumps and glares at me.

“Kenneth is giving us the schedule,” I explain, and we have to look away from each other so we don’t burst out laughing.Yep, Eli is totally playing him.Shit, I’m about to lose it and Kenneth’s fuse is already lit.

“Thank you, Luke,” Kenneth continues, thankfully missing my gentle sarcasm.“As I was saying, lunch will be available in catering from 11:30 to 2:30.Please do not ask them to hold it again like in New Orleans.Three hours should be plenty of time and…”

“Hey, that was Sweeny!”Eli defends, and I kick him under the table.“Ow!What?It was!”he cries, and I roll my eyes, before turning back to Kenneth.

“You know what?Here,” our tour manager grumbles.“Why don’t I just leave this with you, and you all can read it at your leisure.”He pops open the rings of the binder and yanks out the schedule.You know he’s had it when he parts with any sliver of that binder.

“Thanks, Kenneth.We’ll review it.Promise.”

“Great.Just don’t be late for lunch,” he mutters.

“Got it,” I assure him, and have to cough to cover my laugh when he spins and collides with the kid still standing on the steps.

“Wha…off!”Kenneth almost screams, pointing toward the exit.

Eli doesn’t even try to hide his amusement and snorts so hard, the table shakes.“God, he hates us!”he cries after we’re alone, still laughing.

I grin.“You’re finding us a new tour manager when he quits.You know that, right?”

He shrugs and wipes his eyes.“I can’t help it!It’s so easy!”

I laugh and grab another donut.

The others have goneto lunch, so I’m startled at the sound of footsteps on the stairs of the bus.Even more so when Holland pokes her head into the lounge and tosses me a warm smile.I can’t say I’m entirely displeased to see her, just surprised.

“Callie told me I could find you here.”

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