Page 7 of Tracing Holland

I’m surprised to see the door already open as I approach with my suitcase.I guess I was wrong about Eli and Sweeny and am actually disappointed they changed their minds.Still, it’s their house as much as mine, so I brace myself for a blast of energy and climb the stairs.

I stop cold.

“Luke!Oh, um…hi.I’m sorry, Callie said…”

I force a smile and wave my hand.“No, it’s fine, don’t get up,” I say.

Shit.I can’t retreat now.

Holland returns my smile with a stiff one of her own, but straightens on the couch anyway.She’d been writing something in a notebook and closes it as discreetly as possible.Clearly, not discreetly enough.

“Really, it’s fine.I just didn’t feel like going out and was planning to watch a movie or something in the back to rest before tonight,” I say moving through the open partition into the living area where she’d been reclined.“I’ll stay out of your way.”

She seems conflicted.“I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m on your bus when I have my own.”

I smile again and shake my head.“If your band is anything like mine, I’m pretty sure I can guess.”

This time her smile is warmer than any of the others I’ve gotten so far.God, it’s breathtaking.

“I love them dearly.I do, but sometimes…you just need a break, you know?And Callie said she was pretty sure yours would be empty since you all were going out.”

“Like I said, it makes sense.It’s fine.I’ll stay out of your way.Stay as long as you want.They keep the fridge well-stocked, too, so help yourself.”

“Thanks.”

She’s watching me again.Studying my every move.Evaluating.I’m pretty sure I’ll fail, but there’s nothing I can do.

“I’m just gonna grab the key to the luggage bay to load my stuff.”

I move to the drawer where we keep the key and can feel her gaze burning a hole in my back.I want to say something, to just get it out there, but I know that whatever it is could make things a hundred times worse.We have a long tour ahead of us and I’ve done a lot of terrible things.

“Mind if I peek in on your set tonight?Callie won’t stop talking about how great it was,” I toss casually, trying to dispel the awkwardness as I search through the junk drawer.Where is that damn key?And where did all these stupid rubber bands come from?

“Really?Yeah, of course!That would be awesome.You guys killed it last night.Is it good to be back?”

I swallow.She’s just being polite.

“It’s great.I missed the music,” I manage in a steady voice.

Finally!I grab the key and offer a quick smile as I turn around.“Just gonna load up.I’ll be back,” I explain.She nods and returns to her notebook.

My heart is pounding as I step off the bus and I have no idea why.Is it because of her question?Is it because she got close to a wound?Or is it her.There’s something about her.I suspect she hates me for some reason and yet she’s never been rude.Callie immediately clicked with her so I know she’s incredible.I’m just so confused at the moment, and if I had any other choice, I would not go back to face her, but it’s too late.I already said I’d be returning.I’d look ridiculous if I just disappeared now.Plus, I have to return the key.That damn key!

I load my suitcase with the rest of the luggage and relock the luggage bay.I force myself to convert my death march into something less absurd and begin climbing the stairs again.She’s an attractive, confident woman; so what?I’ve dealt with countless of them over the course of my life, but maybe that’s the problem.

“You writing?”I ask, and nearly flinch at the stupid question.

A small smile flickers across her lips and I know she’s thinking the same thing.She looks adorable as she bites the edge of her pen and looks up at me.“Yep,” she says through her clenched teeth, still smiling.

I return it and shake my head with a shy grin.“Sorry, I know.Just making conversation, I guess.Ok, I’ll leave you alone.”

I start moving past her toward the back.

“Luke, wait!”she calls.

Surprised, I stop and turn.Her eyes have changed a bit.The amusement is gone, and I brace myself once more.

“Look, I’ll just say this, ok?I know it’s awkward, but we have a long tour and will be spending lots of time together.I don’t want drama in my life, ok?”

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