Page 74 of Tracing Holland

“No, it’s Luke.”

“What?You bastard!Why do you have her phone?”

“Because it’s me you need to be talking to right now, not her.”

“That’s her choice!”

“Yes, and she’s choosing the fact that she wants to have both of us in her life, so now it’s up to you and me to resolve this.”

“Never gonna happen.”

“Wes, it has to, man, ok?It has to.”I sigh and clench my eyes shut for a second, trying to gather myself together.Am I really going to do this?I glance at Holland and realize I have no choice.“Look, I get it.I do.I was an asshole for most of my life.You’re right, I would not have deserved a woman like Holland then, and quite frankly, I’m not sure I do now.But all that means is I’m going to fight every second of every day to overcome my shortcomings, to fight toward the goal of being worthy of her, so that maybe one day I will actually be something she deserves.”I glance up at her again, and almost lose it at the look on her face.“She makes me want to try, man.She makes me believe that I can be better.That I have to be.”

He doesn’t respond, and I force my gaze away from Holland so I can focus back on my plea.“Wes, I swear to you, I know what I have here.I know she’s too good for me.But I am not the person I was.I’m a person who understands exactly what I was, and why I need to be better.And I sure as hell know why I need to be thankful every single day that Holland Drake is in my life.I will not fuck this up.But, dude, if I do?I will find you, wherever you are, and let you beat the shit out of me.No questions asked.”

The line goes dead, and I let out my breath before daring a look back at Holland.I don’t even get a chance to say anything before her arms are around my neck, her face buried in my shoulder.I just hold her, both of us locked in silence as we process what just happened.

“That was beautiful, Luke.What you just did was…” she pulls back and stares at me in awe.“I didn’t think you could surprise me anymore.”

I smile, suddenly shy.“I’m pretty sure the surprises are just starting.I’m going to be surprising both of us a lot from here on out.I better, or Wes just got a license to mess me up.”

She shakes her head in disbelief.“Unbelievable.”

I’m not really sure what to say next, but I’m glad I did it.It feels so good to have made her happy.To have done the right thing for once.Still, I’m not sure what to do with these new, strange sensations, and she almost seems annoyed that I’m not gushing about my heroics like she is.“You don’t even get it, do you?”she continues, and I swallow.

“Um…”

“What you just did...I know every part of you wanted to beat his face in, and instead you did the last thing I ever expected you to do.”

“I told the truth.”

“You were amazing.”She grins and leans forward, rewarding me with a long kiss.“I love sweet Luke.I can’t even tell you how hot he is.”

Crap, I hope I’m not blushing.“Well, don’t get used to it.I have a reputation to maintain,” I tease.

“Not unless you want Wes to demolish you.As God is my witness, I now get to let him destroy you if you ever break my heart.”She sits back and scrunches her nose.“What did he say anyway?”

I smirk.“Honestly?Nothing.He just hung up.”

“Nothing?Not a word?”

“After my speech, no.Nothing.”

She shakes her head.“Wonder what that means.”

I shrug.“I have no idea, but I’ll probably need to sleep with one eye open for the rest of the tour.”

“Your eye is still messed up from the last conversation!”

I grin and lean toward her again.“Makes me look like a badass though, right?”

She answers my question with another kiss.A much deeper one than I was expecting.“Maybe.”

“I knew it.You talk big about being all evolved and mature, but deep down you just want your boyfriend to beat the shit out of people like everyone else.”

Her eyes widen at my teasing.“Oh really?Big tough guy, huh?”

I laugh as she shoves me down and straddles me.The hungry kiss that follows completely erases anything left of my arguments.I don’t even remember the topic.

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