Page 84 of Tracing Holland

“No way.What did he say?”

“That’s the best part.His girlfriend made it for him!”Casey starts laughing all over again, and I stare at him in disbelief.

“Wait, Uncle Nestor has a girlfriend!”

“Four years, dude!Four fucking years!They met at Sole Barn!”

“The shoe store?”

“I know!”Casey smacks the table.“I guess they share a love of bland, sensible footwear, I don’t know.”

“Wow…”

He nods.“Exactly.”He grows serious.“Hey, so, you should also know that at least ten people came up to me and asked me to tell you how sorry they were for what happened at Nate’s house.”

Shocked, I’m not even sure how to respond at first.“Seriously?”I manage finally.

He nods.“Yeah, man.They were blown away by you.They feel bad for hiding and not standing up for you at the time, but they couldn’t believe you just stood there and took it.That you’d actually come back to take responsibility for your actions.They have a huge amount of respect for you now.”

I look away, still not sure what to make of that.“Wow.I…”

Casey shrugs.“Dude, you’re legit, and people are seeing it.”

I draw in a deep breath and stare into my coffee cup.“Thanks, Case.I needed to hear that.”I force my eyes up and meet his gaze.“I went to visit Elena today.Holland went with me.”

He’s quiet for a moment and I can’t begin to read his expression.“Good, I’m glad you did,” he says finally, studying me.“Holland’s an amazing woman, Luke.”

I nod and instinctively glance toward the entrance as if she’ll walk in at that moment.It hits me hard how much I want her to.“She is.Incredible.”I focus on him again.“You know I didn’t ask for any of this.I wasn’t looking for someone else.”

He meets my eyes.“I know.You have nothing to apologize for.You will always love my sister.We all know that.It doesn’t mean you can’t love someone else too.”

I swallow, doing my best to breathe.Leave it to Casey Barrett to transform his moment of pain into evidence of what an amazing friend he is.I almost smirk at the thought of freaking him out with an impromptu hug but have mercy.I stare back at my mug instead.

“I think I could really love her, man.I think Holland might be it for me,” I say after a pause, shocking myself as much as anyone with my confession.I glance up again to test his reaction, but Casey doesn’t seem surprised.

“I think so too.But Luke, you should know that Callie and I are going to do everything in our power to keep you from screwing it up this time.You should just know that up front.”

He grins, and I return it.

“Thanks.I’m holding you to that.”

“Good, because Callie is already planning our double wedding.”

I laugh and shake my head.“Wow.Well, don’t worry.I think she’ll change her mind when she finds out how long she’d have to wait.I don’t think Holland’s in any kind of rush either.”

We returnto Philadelphia different than when we left, but better somehow.The four of us grew individually, as well as together, and it almost feels strange when the car returns us to our tour and the other reality we’d left.I often feel like I’m living multiple lives, but never more so than when I’m reminded of the deep chasm separating my past from my present.I’ve only complicated the gap further with this new present that I’m still trying to grasp.Still, I can’t shake the feeling that the path has changed, that a fragile bridge is now hanging precariously between my islands and I’m starting to catch glimpses of a future where I can navigate them freely.It’s a lot easier to imagine that kind of freedom when I watch Holland embrace it with effortless grace.

I linger beside her, holding one of her bags, as she fishes through her purse for her hotel key.

“I’ll probably check in with the band tonight for dinner,” she announces, almost apologizing, and I grin.

“Yeah, me too.No worries,” I respond, following her inside so I can deposit her belongings.

She turns to me and slips her arms around my waist, pulling me against her.“But you know I’d rather spend the night with you.”

“Yeah, me too.No worries,” I repeat, and she laughs.

I kiss her, surprised when my casual gesture turns much more intense.The magnet of her body starts drawing me forward, locking me against her as she backs into her room.

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