Page 87 of Tracing Holland

“Uh, you weren’t there for breakfast.”

“Exactly.”

“Ugh,” she groans.

“You didn’t let me finish,” I laugh.“Anyway, you were also sort of fascinating at the same time.That day I walked in and saw you in my chair…”

“It was my chair too!”

“Our chair,” I concede.“The point is, I didn’t freak you out when I asked you to move.You just scooted across the table like my bizarre request made perfect sense to you.What was I supposed to do with that?”

“Oh, believe me, it made zero sense to me, I just had no reason not to move.”

“Well, you did, and it changed everything, Cal.Then when it became obvious that you cared even though you had no clue who I was, you had me.I was hooked.”

“You and Casey make fun of me all the time for not knowing who you were!”

“It doesn’t mean we didn’t love it.”

She gives me a mock glare, and I grin before growing serious again.“Cal, you know what I loved about you, what I still love about you?You’re just there.Even when you didn’t know what to say, what was going on with me, when I pushed you away, you were there.No judgments, no expectations, just present, across from me, reminding me that I was alive and I was important to you.”I glance away, still not used to this whole sharing thing.“You probably saved my life, Cal, and I never really thanked you.So thank you.”

Her eyes meet mine and the tears there affect me in ways I never could have expected.I’m not finished and search for the rest of the words.“Most didn’t even try, and the few who did…” I glare at the table.“God, I was so tired of people trying to fix what they didn’t understand, of framing me and my pain with their own experiences.”I glance at her again.“But you didn’t.You just sawme.There was a patience in your gaze that I couldn’t ignore no matter how hard I tried.I couldn’t let you down.I had to keep coming back because I knew you’d be there waiting for me.You expected something from me after everyone else gave up.”

“I think in a lot of ways we needed each other.”

I smile and nod.“We did.”

She returns my smile and reaches across the table to take my hand.“I just hope you always understand how much Casey and I love you.”

I almost laugh.“You make it pretty hard not to.”

She grins, and I settle back.“Anyway, that’s why I called you here.I wanted you to know all of that.I know I’m not nearly as good at conveying my love for you, but I just really needed you to understand the impact you had.How beautiful you are, Cal.Inside and out.”

Her smile makes the whole thing worth it, and I didn’t even get to the good part.

“Thanks, Luke.That’s…” She wipes her eyes.“Gosh, I don’t even know what to say.”

“Good, because I’m not done.There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about.”

She looks surprised.“What’s that?”

“I want to send a note to Shauna from us.”

Her confusion makes me smile.“What?Shauna, our server from Jemma’s?”

I nod.“Yeah, I’ve always felt badly about the whole chair thing and how it all went down at the end.She helped us out and I never really thanked her.We just kind of disappeared from her life.”

Her eyes narrow.“So you want to send a thank you note?”

“Sure, I guess,” I chuckle.“Along with a long overdue tip from the two of us.”

“A tip?What kind of tip?”

I shrug.“I don’t know.I guess, the kind of tip that will give her more choices in life for her and her family.”

She stares at me in disbelief.“What?”

“I’ll cover that part of it.I just think the note should come from both of us.She always liked you more anyway.”

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