Page 9 of Tracing Holland

It’sa long time before I’m able to return to the venue, let alone the buses.I feel the pressure of the clock and know they’ll be looking for me, but I have the cab driver drop me off a good mile away so I can recalibrate my head with a walk.

I eventually make my way to the dressing room to prepare for the show and grab a snack there to avoid any awkward encounters in catering.In fact, somehow I manage to stay hidden almost completely, other than a few interactions with our stage manager and crew.My discreet return is so successful I’m even able to startle Callie with a gentle poke as she watches Limelight perform from backstage.She jumps and spins, then breaks into a giant grin when she sees me.

“There you are!Everyone’s been looking for you.You here to watch Holland?”

I nod.“I told her I’d check them out.”

“She’ll love that!Limelight’s really good too.You should try to catch their show tomorrow.Jesse’s voice is amazing!They’re gonna be huge.Have you talked to him?He’s actually a really cool guy.Casey said he worked in a warehouse to support himself until booking this tour!”

I love her enthusiasm.I’m pretty sure I’ll never tire of watching her get excited about life.“No kidding,” I say, focusing back on the action on stage.She’s right.His voice is sick, their energy and sound well-beyond their years and experience.They’re going to be a big deal one day, and I can almost feel a small spark of excitement at the memory of what that jump was like for me.

“Luke, hey!”

I turn toward the voice and catch my breath a bit at Holland’s entrance.She looks incredible in this light with her stage clothes and makeup.I force a smile.

“Hey.Came to check out your show,” I explain casually.

“Wow, I’m honored.Thank you,” she replies, and her return smile seems sincere.I’m not sure what else to say, but I’m spared when the rest of her band appears and distracts her.

Callie and I back away to make room as Limelight finishes their set and exits the stage.The crew immediately jumps into action to set up for Tracing Holland.Holland and her band are deep in conversation, most likely reviewing some last minute details before they go out, and I use that opportunity to grab Jesse as he passes.

“Looked good,” I observe, and I love the pleased shock that flashes across his face before he can hide it.I remember being in his shoes.Wanting to play it cool, but totally in awe of the moment, the legends who suddenly become peers.

“Really?You watched?”

“Caught the end.”

He grins and nods.“Thanks, man.I still can’t believe we’re playing a stadium.We just fucking played a stadium!”

I laugh.“Yeah, you did.Andfucking killed it,” I echo, almost laughing again when I catch Callie’s disapproving look at my choice of language.

“You were awesome, Jesse.Really, really good.I love your sound,” she says.

“Thanks, Callie.That means a lot.”

“Jess!Get over here!Are you coming or what?”Parker calls from the stage door.

Jesse gives us an apologetic look.“Sorry, guys.Later?”

We smile.“Sure, no problem.Enjoy the rest of your night.”

“Oh, no way.I’ll be back in a minute.You guys fucking blew this place apart last night.I’m not missing that.”

I shake my head with a smile as he darts off, and Callie gently slaps my arm.

“Hear that?Blew this place apart.You’re such a rockstar.”

I chuckle.“Yeah, whatever.”

It’s another few minutes before Tracing Holland takes the stage, and Holland gives me a “here we go” look as she passes to make her entrance.I return an encouraging smile and move to a better vantage point once they’re loaded.

The lights flash in sync with the first few drum hits of their opener, and the crowd ignites.When Holland’s strong, haunting lead flows as a lonely melody into the vast space around us, I’m completely mesmerized right along with every breathless soul in the audience.Chills spread through me as the drum hits continue; just her voice, the echo of percussion, and that restless anticipation that something spectacular is about to explode on us.

“I won’t be your momma’s girl.

I’m not your daddy’s pride.

So if you want me alone, don’t expect to take me home, I’m just not that kind.

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