Page 100 of Crazy Love

“A few months.” I sit back, my hand sliding over my face. I let out a relieved laugh. “Wow. That’s…incredible.”

I look at Addy and she’s lifting her hand up to wipe away a tear. I put my arm around her and scoot closer.

Sutton’s smile grows. “I don’t think you’ll find a judge in this state who would deny it. Especially with how involved you’ve been in both Sam and Winnie’s lives. In Sam’s case, Penn, you’ve been there for years. The stability you’ve provided, the love…” He glances at Addy. “You’ve done everything right.”

Addy gives him a tremulous smile and when she looks at me, I can tell how hard she’s working to stay calm.

“Thank you,” she says softly. “For everything.”

“I’ll file the last round of paperwork this week,” David says. “If you don’t hear from me, don’t worry. It means everything’s progressing as expected.”

We talk for another half hour about what to expect and then about how everyone in Landmark Mountain is doing. When themeeting comes to a close, we thank them again and walk out into the bright afternoon sunlight.

Addy sighs, her hand linked with mine. “That went well…right?”

“Really well. For the first time, I’m letting myself hope. Like…really hope.” I take a deep breath, my thoughts whirling.

This is happening. We’re going to be a family. For real.

Addy rests her head briefly against my shoulder as we walk to the SUV. “Penn? Do you ever feel like things are goingtoowell?”

Her words make the hair on the back of my neck rise. “I do know that feeling. But I think we’ve earned some good.” I brush a kiss against her temple.

She nods and smiles, but it’s tentative and distracted.

That weekend we travel for a game, and it’s really hard telling the kids bye. Winnie clings to Addy’s legs and Addy bawls when we get in the car to go to the training facility.

“How can I leave her when she’s so terrified of being left?” she cries.

My heart is heavy too. I hold her hand and my other is clenched around the steering wheel. “She loves being with my parents, and Sam will make sure she’s okay too.”

“He shouldn’t have to carry that,” she says.

She seems off the whole weekend. She still puts on a smile and does her job, working her ass off to make everything perfect for the team, but I catch her crying more than once, and her eyes have dark circles under them. I try to talk her into coming to my room, but she insists on letting me rest before the game. I miss having her next to me so much that it’s unsettling.

When we get back home, the kids are asleep. We go into their rooms and kiss their foreheads. This time I was bracing myself for Jezebel, so she doesn’t give me a heart attack when I see her nestled against Sam’s legs.

Sam’s eyes open, and he whispers, “Hey, you’re back,” before falling back to sleep.

We go to our room and get ready for bed, and Addy presses her fingers to her temples like she has a headache.

“You okay?” I ask.

“Just tired,” she says, flashing me a quick smile as she grabs her toothbrush.

The following week, she’s still quiet, and I can’t ignore it anymore.

We’re on the couch and her head is resting against the back. She looks exhausted.

“Addy,” I say, leaning over to kiss her shoulder. “Hey. Talk to me.”

Her eyes flutter shut. “I just…” she pauses. “It’s a lot. You know?”

It’s like a flood of ice-cold water pours through my body.

“You mean the adoption?”

Her eyes snap open. “No.” She sits up. “Yes. I don’t know.”

---