Page 125 of Crazy Love

Sam fist-bumps me. “This is sick,” he says, laughing.

It’s such a hit, no one wants to leave the house, but we have to rush off for Winnie’s performance in the holiday dance show.

We wind up the mountain, excitement and nerves palpable in the car. When we arrive at the Silver Hills Community Theatre, it feels like there are a thousand people in the parking lot, even though I know it barely seats three hundred. And we’re early.

We walk inside, Addy and Winnie holding hands next to me, and Sam on my other side. Holiday garlands and lights cover every surface—although I think it could stand another couplehundred strands of lights—and the chatter of parents and kids running around in costumes rivals the football stadium. My palms are sweating, which is just silly.

Winnie looks adorable in her red tutu and sparkly headband. Her curls are going every direction and her green eyes are bright. She stops suddenly, and we all stop, looking to see if she’s okay.

She looks up at us nervously, her free hand twisting around her tutu. I start to lean down to her level to say something encouraging, but Sam beats me to it.

“You’ve got this,” he says, his voice firm.

She looks at him, uncertain. “What if I forget all my moves?”

“Never gonna happen. You’ve got themdown,” I insist.

“And so what if you forget something?” Sam adds. “I bet no one would be able to tell anyway.”

Her lip trembles. “I’m nervous.”

“Think about all the stuff you’ve done, Win,” Sam says, taking her hand. “You’ve survived mean foster parents. Hateful kids. Never having enough food. And you still laughed and played through all that.” He leans in. “And your dancing kicksass.”

Her eyes get huge and she giggles, clamping her hand over her mouth. She looks around to see if that’s gonna get him in trouble, but we’re enjoying this too much for that to happen.

“You think so?” she whispers finally.

“I know so. You arepowerful. You’re the toughest girl in the whole wide world, and you’re gonna be the cutest,bestdancer out there tonight,” he tells her.

She gulps. “I promise I won’t tell Cassidy and Audrey you said that,” she says, then nods briskly. “Okay. Okay, I’m ready.” She throws her arms around Sam’s neck and when she backs away, they high-five hard enough for it to echo.

“Totally got this.” Sam grins.

She takes a deep breath and stands taller.

I hear Addy sniffling beside me and she rolls her eyes when I look. “Why are they always making me emotional?”

“Because they’re the best little humans…and we are totally soft.” I put my arm around her and my hand on Winnie’s shoulder. “And I can’t wait to see you shine up there, sweet girl.” I lean down and kiss her cheek. “Love you.”

“Love you, Daddy,” she says.

I don’t think my heart will ever not drop when she says that.

She looks at Sam. “Love you, Sam.”

And then she bounces off with Addy backstage, where they’re supposed to be gathering, while Sam and I find our seats.

The first half of the show starts out with the full range of ages—toddlers to teens—and we’re laughing our asses off one second and amazed by the talent in the next. The littlest ones are dressed like snowflakes and they scatter in different directions, never quite landing where they’re supposed to. A boy dressed as a reindeer hops sideways…instead of staying in line with everyone else, and crashes into an elf. The elf then bursts into tears and looks into the audience for his mom.

We lose it when one of the little girls in Winnie’s class does an inappropriate hip thrust during “Jingle Bell Rock.”

And then, it’s time for the father-daughter dance. The dads file onto the stage and I see our friends out in the audience. I remember how cute it was when Bowie and Rhodes stepped in and danced with Cassidy and Audrey after Henley’s injury. Henley’s up here now with Cassidy and Audrey flanking him. He winks at me when our eyes meet.

I can’t believe I’m here now with a little girl that I want to be my daughter more than anything.

I glance down at Winnie, my hand engulfing her tiny one, and her expression is serene and confident as she smiles up at me. All earlier nerves are gone.

“You ready?” I ask.

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