Page 129 of Crazy Love

“I’m so grateful for my job, and I’ve truly loved it. But…” I hesitate, searching for the right words. “I feel like Sam and Winnie…they’re my calling. I want to devote my energy to them and our family…and maybe a baby even.”

Her eyes light up. “A baby!”

“It doesn’t feel like giving something up for me. It feels like I’d be missing out if I didn’t focus on them while I’m lucky enough to have them. This whole waiting game…I mean, I know we’ll most likely get to keep them, but…the what-ifs…it’s really made me see what matters most to me.”

My mom watches me for a long moment before smiling. “That’s not giving up at all,” she says. “I admire you so much. And if you ever changed your mind, I’m sure they’d have you back in some capacity or another. That team loves you.”

“Yeah, it may not be forever, but for now…I feel like it’s what I’m supposed to do.”

“Then that’s what you should do.”

“You’re not disappointed or…frustrated?” I ask.

“Why would I be?” She turns to face me fully now.

“Because of all the money you spent on my education…and all the goals and dreams I had.”

“You will still put your knowledge about nutrition to good use, and just because you’re staying home doesn’t mean your goals and dreams die.” She smiles when I laugh. “Are you happy?”

“So happy.”

“Keep listening to your heart, Addy. I trust you. It won’t steer you wrong.”

I exhale, feeling something settle inside me. A decision I wasn’t one hundred percent certain about until I said it out loud.

“Thanks, Mama,” I say softly.

I glance around the table at these beautiful people who have enriched my life in ways I didn’t even know I was missing.

My life is so full. This right here, and what I have at home with Penn and the kids…it’s exactly what I want.

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

A LONG WAY

PENN

“Are you sure we can’t just open the presents now?” I ask, following Addy around the house.

She turns and gives me a playful shove and I pretend to be wounded.

“You’re worse than the kids!”

“I just can’t wait for them to see their presents!” I lean in closer. “They’re gonna be so excited about those bikes.”

She slaps her hand over my mouth, shushing me. “Do not let them hear you talking about the presents,” she hisses.

“Jeez. Where is your Christmas spirit?” I grump. My head falls back and I groan. “This is the longest day ever.”

I look at my watch. Our parents won’t be here for a few hours yet.

Gizmo nuzzles against my leg and I bend down to pick him up.

“Hey, little guy,” I say, kissing his wrinkly forehead.

I’ve come a long way with Jezebel and the kittens. I’d never let the little dude know that I think he’s an alien on short legs. He deserves love. His purr makes me smile and when I look up, Addy’s smiling at me.

“We still have surprises to put out tonight, you know. After they go to bed,” she whispers.

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