Page 89 of Crazy Love

“Thank you,” he says. “Seriously, all of you…I know this is a lot, and well, I’m just so grateful.”

We discuss the logistics of the next few days a little longer and then say goodnight, promising to keep talking about it tomorrow. Penn calls David and Sutton again, and I get ready for bed, taking a shower and checking on Sam and Winnie again before crawling into Penn’s huge bed. I sigh when I lie down, exhaustion warring with my racing thoughts. When Penn comes in a while later, we face each other.

“This is kind of chaos, isn’t it?” Penn says.

“Yeah, but it feels like it’s chaos with a purpose. I feel good about what we’re doing.”

“Me too. This is just…more than you agreed to.”

“I don’t regret my decision,” I tell him. “Not even a little bit.”

He reaches out and touches my face and then kisses me. Things escalate quickly, but then I hear crying in the next room. I lean back and then jump out of bed, rushing to Winnie’s room. She’s sitting up, clutching her blanket.

“Winnie, it’s me, Addy,” I say. “Can I sit next to you?” I ask, pointing to the bed.

She sniffles and nods, still gasping to catch her breath. I grab a tissue from the side of the bed and wipe her face carefully. When she’s cleaned up a little, I put my arm around her and she leans her head against my shoulder, her hiccups breaking my heart.

Instead of trying to talk, I start singing one of the songs we heard onFrozenearlier, and her breathing slows. I see Penn standing in the doorway, watching us, his eyes full of concern.When she falls asleep, he moves to the side of the bed and sits on the floor, and we watch her breathe for a long time.

The next morning is rough, with all of us exhausted and trying to hurry with a little girl who still won’t talk. But after last night, she’s sticking a little closer to me, so I make the executive decision to take her to work with me instead of sending her to school. I can tell she’s still sore from the way she moves gingerly, and the black and blue around her eye looks even worse. While I’m giving her a bath, Penn sticks her blanket in the wash and it’s ready in time to go to work with us.

Sam is still the champion, so careful and gentle with Winnie, putting scrambled eggs and fruit on her plate, and setting a stuffed bear next to her.

“Thought you might like this guy,” he says. “I’ve had him a while and he always makes me feel better.”

Winnie picks up the teddy bear and holds it while she eats. Penn’s parents take Sam to school, and on the way to the training facility, Penn and I discuss what we’ll do with Winnie all day.

“Well, she has to be with me…the only time I could use your help is when I’m doing lunch. The rest of the time, she can help or I can set her up with my iPad.” I make a face. “Not that I want to immediately get her on screens, but?—”

“Today, it might help here and there,” Penn agrees.

We figure out a time we can probably leave, and it’s not a perfect plan, but I think it will work.

And it does. Mostly.

It’s just extra exhausting, making sure she’s okay at all times. She helps me with laying out the granola bars and fruit and I keep her on a steady stream of healthy snacks. The thought of how hungry she must have been is horrifying. We get through the lunch rush, Penn coming to sit next to her while I hustle around. Once that’s done, I guide her down the hall toward myoffice, pulling out my iPad to find a show for her while I have a Zoom meeting.

That’s when I hear my dad’s voice behind me. “Who’s this?”

My whole body tenses, and I turn around slowly.

He’s standing there, mouth tight with disapproval? Concern? I’m not sure what’s going on in his mind. I’m not used to being at odds with my dad and I really don’t like it.

“Hey, Dad.” I look down at Winnie and smile at her, swinging her hand slightly. “Winnie, this is my dad, Rex. Dad, this is Winnie.”

“Hello, Winnie,” he says, smiling sweetly at her. He motions to the Uncrustables she’s holding in the other hand. “Ahh, those are my favorite.”

She tucks herself behind my leg, clutching my pants in her small fists. I rest a hand on her back.

“Here, why don’t we go in here?” I suggest. “I thought you could watch a movie for a little bit while I’m on a video chat.”

We walk into my office and I set her up in the chair next to me. She looks like a little queen when I’m done: the blanket, Sam’s bear, and iPad on her lap, and snacks and drinks within easy reach.

“You okay?” I ask.

She nods.

My dad has watched me this whole time and I go to the doorway.

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