Page 42 of Broken

“No, not tonight,” I murmur.

“Good. Go back to sleep. I’m right here.”

“Okay. Night, King.”

“Night,” he answers sleepily.

I think through my night with King and after the emotional turmoil, even I can admit that we had a good night. He made us scrambled egg sandwiches. That may sound silly to most people, but he asked me what I wanted and wasn’t weirded out at all. Nope. He just said it sounds good and made him one, too.

I was so touched that I found myself opening up to him and telling him that my father used to make me scrambled egg sandwiches when I couldn’t sleep. I’d sit on a stool at the island while he cooked, and we’d talk about my day in school or what I had planned for the weekend. It was silly most of the time, but they were moments I treasure. He’d listened and smiled at me. Then he fixed my sandwich and said, “I hope my sandwich lives up to your Pops, Sunshine.”

I didn’t tell him it was even better. If I had, I would have had to explain how much him being here meant to me, and I’d already fallen apart on him a couple of times today. I didn’t need to add a third.

Afterward, we went back to the bedroom, and he set up the smaller television on top of the media stand that Dani had the boys move in here. It was smaller than the gigantic one in the living room, but this was still a sixty-five-inch screen. Apparently, Kingreallylikes big televisions. He found the latest Eddie Murphy comedy movie and decided on it, saying I need laughter and none of that other bullshit—which made me giggle.

I fell asleep somewhere along the line and now I’m lying beside him, wondering how I got here. It was probably one of the best evenings I’ve had in a really long time—maybe ever. Well, if you don’t count the emotional rollercoaster portions of the night. Yet something still felt incomplete. I kind of knew what thatsomethingwas, but I wasn’t sure how to broach the subject. The dream that just woke me up with King’s whispered words that meanteverythingto me has added fuel to a fire that has been burning since eating the food King made for me.

“You’re not sleeping, Gabby,” King whispers, his hot breath fanning against my neck. I thought he was sleeping. I should have known better. He’s worried about me. He hasn’t made a secret of that.

“I know,” I answer, feeling warm and cared for. It’s a feeling I could get used to—if I wasn’t panicked I was going to do something to make it all go to hell.

“Want to share what’s on your mind?”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea right now,” I explain honestly.

He tugs at me gently until I’m lying on my back. Then he goes up on an elbow and leans over me. “I’m thinking it’s an excellent one. Is the baby keeping you awake?”

“No,” I hedge.

“Gabby, what did I say?”

“Which time?”

“Woman,” he warns. I know it’s a warning, but I’m not scared. I’m actually smiling. Seriously, these emotional rollercoasters are crazy.

“I’m serious. You’ve said a lot tonight and all of it was earth shattering. You’re going to have to be more specific.”

“Why do I get the feeling that you’re playing with me?”

I laugh. “Okay, I do have something I want to ask, but you’re tired and I have work tomorrow. I think I’ll ask it another night.”

“Now, I must know. There’s no way I’m going to be able to go to sleep. I have to know. Spit it out, woman,” he fake-growls, looking down at me with a goofy smile I wouldn’t have thought possible on his beautiful, most-of-the-time somber face. I suddenly find myself wishing there was more light in here so I could see him better.

“It’s embarrassing, King.”

“I’m safe, Gabby. You are my safe place and I’m yours. That’s been our deal since day one. That’s not changing.” He capturesone of my hands, links our fingers together, brings it up to his lips, and then kisses mine before squeezing them. “Tell me,” he orders. What he doesn’t do—I can’t help but notice—is let go of my hand.

Maybe it was the way he was holding my hand that gave me the extra courage that I needed, but I look up into those inky, dark eyes and bare my soul in a simple eight-word question.

“I was wondering if you would kiss me,” I answered.

My heart was having palpitations. I can’t believe I just told him that. I could feel embarrassment and mortification come over me. I open my mouth to back out when he stops me and rocks my world for the millionth time tonight.

“Fuck, yeah, Sunshine,” he murmurs.

The pleasure in his voice and the happiness I hear are hard to describe. I can’t even try. Then his lips are coming down against mine and any thought I have flees. They press gently. His lips were somehow soft, slick, and safe.They feel safe.It’s as if my body already knew that King would never hurt me. I’m not sure how I got here. I didn’t think I’d ever want to be next to a man again. I never thought I’d want to kiss someone. Then again, King is not some man. He’s King, and all that goes into making him is a lot and it speaks to me.

His tongue slides around my lip, and I open my mouth. It’s not a lot at first, just a fraction of what is needed, but it’s a big step for me. Still, King doesn’t push for more. He nibbles on the bottom of my lip, ever so gently, letting his tongue slide behind to soothe the gentle tug of his teeth. It feels good. Sweet.Clean.I open a little more and then his tongue slides inside deeper. He is careful, so very careful. I didn’t know he could be so gentle. I’d never kissed him before—unless you count our one closed-mouth lip touch. Still, I am sure this isn’t a normal King kiss. He’s so positive and confident in everything he does. I know he is being cautious because of me.Because of my past.So, as goodas this feels—and it feels amazing—it also feels wrong. I wanted King to kiss me to prove I could find some part of me that is normal enough to give him something good. I didn’t think I had any good in me. I’ve been trying to find it, convincing myself I could be good for my child—and I would be. Yet I didn’t like myself. I didn’t, and I was pretty sure I’d never like myself. But if I could be good for my child, surely, I could do and be the same for King. However, if he can’t kiss me without worrying he’s going to break me, it will never work.

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